********* ************** ********* *********** ************ ************** ************ ************ ************* ************** ************* ************* **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ************* **** ************* ************* ************* **** ************* ************* ************* **** ************* ************ **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ************* **** **** **** **** **** ************ **** **** **** **** **** ********* **** **** **** **** **** ************** *********** ************* **** ***** ************** ************ ************* **** ***** ************** ************* ************* **** ***** **** **** **** **** **** ***** **** **** **** **** ********* **** ************* ************* ******* **** ************* ************* ******** **** ************ ************* ******** **** **** **** **** ***** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ************* **** **** **** **** **** ************* **** **** **** **** **** ************* **** **** Episode guide for the original series of Star Trek. Copyright (C) 1992 Otto E. Heuer (HACK-MAN) FSD, Inc. ottoh@cfsmo.honeywell.com hackman@pnet51.orb.mn.org All rights reserved. This document may not be copied (either physically or electronically) other than to print a copy for yourself. This document may not be sold. All characters are copyright Paramount. Dedicated to myself, for all the hard work I put into it, and to all the fans, for not letting the magic die. MAJOR REVISIONS: 1.0.0 - Initial version I created in the 1970s. 2.0.0 - Moved to my home computer and added major updates (1987). 3.0.0 - Made major modifications and formatting changes around the time Vidiot's TNG Guide first came out in 1988. 4.0.0 - Removed all the fancy formatting to create a "plain ASCII" version of HTG for all the people who were complaining that they couldn't handle the formatted version (9/1991). RECENT CHANGES: 4.1.0 - Added page numbers. 4.1.1 - 9/11/91 - Started making modifications, now that ASCII version is in place. 4.1.3 - 9/17/91 - Finished up the most changes I had in my notes of known bugs. 4.1.4 - 9/19/91 - Made minor modifications to "Conscience of the King" and the index. 4.2.9 - Tons of mods thanks to Dave Davis (daved@westford.ccur.edu) 4.2.11- Started adding mods thanks to Karl Heuer (karl@ima.isc.com) 4.2.16- Fixed spelling - thanks Neil Perret-Green (neil@ccl.umist.ac.uk) 4.2.17- Updated TREK RATE data and Original Airdate third season 4.2.18- Added index entry for "gravity down to .8" TABLE OF CONTENTS ALL OUR YESTERDAYS................................... 4 THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR............................... 6 AMOK TIME............................................ 8 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD.......................... 10 THE APPLE............................................ 12 ARENA................................................ 14 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH................................... 16 BALANCE OF TERROR.................................... 18 BREAD AND CIRCUSES................................... 20 BY ANY OTHER NAME.................................... 22 THE CAGE............................................. 24 CATSPAW.............................................. 26 THE CHANGELING....................................... 28 CHARLIE X............................................ 30 THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER...................... 32 THE CLOUD MINDERS.................................... 34 THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING........................... 36 THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER............................... 38 COURT-MARTIAL........................................ 40 DAGGER OF THE MIND................................... 42 DAY OF THE DOVE...................................... 44 THE DEADLY YEARS..................................... 46 THE DEVIL IN THE DARK................................ 48 THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE................................. 50 ELAAN OF TROYIUS..................................... 52 THE EMPATH........................................... 54 THE ENEMY WITHIN..................................... 56 THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT.............................. 58 ERRAND OF MERCY...................................... 60 FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY.. 62 FRIDAY'S CHILD....................................... 64 THE GALILEO SEVEN.................................... 66 THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION.......................... 68 I, MUDD.............................................. 70 THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME................................ 72 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY?......................... 74 JOURNEY TO BABEL..................................... 76 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD.................... 78 THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR.................................. 80 THE MAN TRAP......................................... 82 THE MARK OF GIDEON................................... 84 THE MENAGERIE (PART 1)............................... 86 THE MENAGERIE (PART 2)............................... 88 METAMORPHOSIS........................................ 90 MIRI................................................. 92 MIRROR, MIRROR....................................... 94 MUDD'S WOMEN......................................... 96 THE NAKED TIME....................................... 98 OBSESSION............................................ 100 THE OMEGA GLORY...................................... 102 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE!............................... 104 THE PARADISE SYNDROME................................ 106 PATTERNS OF FORCE.................................... 108 A PIECE OF THE ACTION................................ 110 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN................................. 112 A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR................................. 114 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH............................... 116 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS................................ 118 RETURN TO TOMORROW................................... 120 THE SAVAGE CURTAIN................................... 122 SHORE LEAVE.......................................... 124 SPACE SEED........................................... 126 SPECTRE OF THE GUN................................... 128 SPOCK'S BRAIN........................................ 130 THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS................................. 132 A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON................................ 134 THAT WHICH SURVIVES.................................. 136 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE................................ 138 THE THOLIAN WEB...................................... 140 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY................................ 142 THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES............................ 144 TURNABOUT INTRUDER................................... 146 THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER................................ 148 THE WAY TO EDEN...................................... 150 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF?....................... 152 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE......................... 154 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS............................... 156 WHOM GODS DESTROY.................................... 158 WINK OF AN EYE....................................... 160 WOLF IN THE FOLD..................................... 162 EPISODE LIST BY AIR DATE............................. 164 EPISODE LIST BY HACKMAN RATING....................... 166 EPISODE LIST BY USENET RATING........................ 168 MISC INFORMATION..................................... 170 TOS MUSIC............................................ 176 BIBLIOGRAPHY......................................... 186 INDEX................................................ 187 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Jean Lisette Aroeste GUESTS: Ian Wolfe (Mr AtoZ) Mariette Hartley (Zarabeth) AIRED: March 14, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .770 Usenet rating: .702 QUOTES: ======= - "There *are* witches!" --Fat Man ALL OUR YESTERDAYS PLOT: ===== A rescue mission to a planet whose sun is about to [super]nova results in Kirk, Spock, and McCoy being sent to various areas of the planet's past. Kirk is to be tried as a witch, but eventually gets back to the present with the help of another time-leaper. Spock and McCoy are sent to a glacial age. Spock falls in love with Zarabeth, a redhead convict, who was sent back into the glacial age as punishment. The librarian (Mr. AtoZ) runs the time machine with android clones of himself. You put a disc of the time period you want to travel to and jump through a portal. The discs look surprisingly a lot like compact discs! FACTS: ====== - 1 Stardate = 1.25 hours to 16.08 hours. - McCoy is this week's dork. - The people of the planet have mastered time travel but not space travel. - Since Spock is in the past, he is capable of early Vulcan lust and anger. - Nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Art Direction and Scenic Design" Emmy in 68-69 (Walter M. Jeffries, Jr., Art Director, and John Dwyer, Set Decorator). OPINIONS: ========= A pretty good (and original) story. There were a few minor flaws, however. Why does Spock revert to a 5000 year old Vulcan but McCoy doesn't revert to a 5000 year old human? Spock mentions that "Kirk has gone through the portal to a different time, much later", but didn't Kirk go through the portal *after* McCoy and Spock? How did Spock know that Kirk was even *in* the portal? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6 THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Don Ingalls GUESTS: Robert Brown (Lazarus?) Janet MacLachlen Richard Derr Eddie Paskey AIRED: March 30, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .100 Usenet rating: .170 QUOTES: ======= - "[But you'll be trapped as well, forever, at each others' throat, for- ever through time]." --Kirk "Is it such a large price to pay for the safety of *two* universes?" --Lazarus THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR PLOT: ===== Lazarus is a schizophrenic time traveler whose personalities are fighting each other through time and space. There is a rip in the space/time fabric and Lazarus seems to be the key to the anomaly. There's a fire in engineering started by Lazarus to steal dilithium crystals (which he needs to power his ship in order to kill his alternate personality). FACTS: ====== - Planet has zero gravity for a split second. - They evacuate to 100 parsecs. - Alternate universe. - Magnetic field. OPINIONS: ========= This episode dragged a minimal plot out for an hour, but had some fair acting and one of the better quotes in Star Trek. There are, however, a couple of major flaws regarding anti-matter. If the one Lazarus himself is anti-matter, he should have been destroyed immediately when he came into contact with *any* matter, not just his counterpart. (likewise for kirk in the anti-matter universe.) also, if the two lazari did manage to annihilate each other, they would make a big boom (E=mc2), but it shouldn't destroy the entire universe(s). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8 AMOK TIME --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Theodore Sturgeon GUESTS: Arlene Martel (T'Pring?) Celia Lovsky (T'Pau) Lawrence Montaigne (T'Pring's lover Stonn?) Byron Morrow AIRED: September 15, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .780 Usenet rating: .826 QUOTES: ======= - "Are you a doctor or aren't you?" --Kirk - "He's as tight-lipped about it as an Aldeberan Shellmouth." --McCoy - "You've been called the best first officer in the fleet." --Kirk - "Vulcan biology - meaning the biology of Vulcans?" --Kirk - "Humans have no conception." --Spock - "Doctor, if you don't cease your meddling, I will most certainly break your neck!" --Spock AMOK TIME PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is headed for Altair 6 for some dumb ceremony (that Star Fleet Command says they must attend or it will cause a disturbance that will create ripples felt all the way to the Klingon Empire). Spock steals the Enterprise and goes to Vulcan to take a wife (T'Pring, the woman to whom he was betrothed), due to Pon Far, the instinctive Vulcan mating cycle which strikes adult male Vulcans every seven years. T'Pring doesn't want to marry Spock, so she calls for Kunut Kalifee, a fight to the death. Spock and Kirk end up fighting for T'Pring. T'Pau (a high-ranking (female) Vulcan official) oversees the ceremony. McCoy complains that the fight wouldn't be fair to Kirk because of the thin Vulcan atmosphere. T'Pau allows him to give Kirk a triox compound to compensate, but he gives Kirk a neural paralyzer instead. This makes it appear as if Spock has actually killed Kirk (since he appears dead). They beam Kirk's body back up to the ship and McCoy revives him. FACTS: ====== - T'Pau is the only person ever to refuse a seat on the Federation Council. - Vulcan has 2000 years of history. - They defy Star Fleet Command and Kirk. - Nurse Chapel has the hots for Spock. - The giant eel-bird of Regulus 5 return to their nest every eleven years. - Kirk and Bones make a mockery of Kunut Kalifee (a ceremony where two people try to kill each other instead of killing the annoying bastards shaking the big tambourines). - This is the episode where Ensign Chekov makes his debut (1st episode, 2nd season). (Catspaw was the one he was first filmed in, although this aired after Amok Time). - This was the first episode with the Vulcan "live long and prosper" salute. OPINIONS: ========= This is a pretty good episode (and it set up for quite a bit of history for Mr. Spock). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Edward J. Lakso GUESTS: Craig Hundley (Tommy Starnes) James Wellman (Professor Starnes) Melvin Belli (Gorgan (The Friendly Angel)) Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel) Pamelyn Terdin (Mary) Caesar Belli (Steve) Mark Robert Brown (Don) Brian Tochi (Ray) Lou Elias (1st Technician) AIRED: October 11, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .010 Usenet rating: .050 QUOTES: ======= - "Hail, hail, fire and snow..." --The Children AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD PLOT: ===== A group of brats under the leadership of the Friendly Angel steal the Enterprise, after killing their parents. The Friendly Angel convinced them that with their parents out of the way they'd be able to have much more fun. The children play on the secret fears of the crew to make them imagine things that aren't there (e.g.: Sulu sees knives coming at the screen and refuses to change course.) Kirk eventually convinces the brats that they miss their parents by showing them visual recordings of them playing on the planet. FACTS: ====== - Kirk beams two red shirts into space, thinking they are still in orbit around the planet. OPINIONS: ========= Pretty lame. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12 THE APPLE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Max Ehrlich GUESTS: Keith Andes Celeste Yarnall Jay Jones Shari Nims David Soul AIRED: October 13, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .440 Usenet rating: .216 QUOTES: ======= - Kirk hits a peaceful man, then says "I will not hurt you." - "We come in peace" <> --Kirk - "The center is deep in the *earth* beneath us." --Spock - "Like nothing I've ever seen before." --Scotty (about the antimatter drain) - "I guess you'll have to fire me, sir." --Scotty - "Mister Spock, do you know anyone on this ship who even remotely resembles Satan?" --Kirk - [You've earned your pay for the week]." --Kirk (to Sulu) THE APPLE PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is under attack by Vaal, a big stone idol that the primitive natives feed. It is really a machine that guides the actions and environment of the populace. There are no children on the planet. Everyone speaks perfect English except they don't know the words "children" or "love". The natives laugh at Spock's speech. FACTS: ====== - Kirk fires Scotty. - Exploding rocks. - Flowers shoot darts. - Chekov falls for Yeoman Martha London. OPINIONS: ========= The plot was a bit drafty with all the holes in it (knowing all but two words of English, etc) and the acting wasn't the best I've seen, but not the worst episode by any means. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14 ARENA --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene L. Coon (from a story by Fredric Brown) GUESTS: Carole Shelyne Jerry Ayres Grant Woods Tom Troupe James Farley Sean Kenney AIRED: January 19, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .660 Usenet rating: .652 QUOTES: ======= - "Gravity is down to .8" --Background voice - "Yes... yeeeesssss...." --Spock - "A sustained warp seven will be dangerous." --Spock - "Diamond is the hardest known substance. --Spock - "It's impossible." --Sulu - "[You have displayed] the advanced [trait] of mercy." --Metron - "He knows, doctor. He has reason[ed it out| to doubt]." --Spock - "They've locked on to my tricorder!" --Spock (how *dare* they!) ARENA PLOT: ===== The Gorns (a race of lizard-like beings) destroyed the Federation's Cestus 3 outpost. The Enterprise is in pursuit, when Kirk and the Gorn commander are transported to a planet by the Metrons (a highly advanced race who live 1500+ year lives) for a duel to the death, winner is allowed to leave with his ship. The two ships are allowed to view the battle on viewer screens. Kirk wins, but refuses to kill the Gorn, saying that they can probably talk out their differences. FACTS: ====== - The Enterprise is moved 500 parsecs instantly at the end of the show. - When Kirk finally manages to build a cannon to shoot the Gorn, the scene is strikingly similar to the beginning of the episode. - The Metron says that the loser's ship will be destroyed, but then when Kirk wins, the metron acts as if letting Kirk live was an afterthought. The book version clarifies this by saying the Metron lied; he'd intended to destroy the winner's ship all along. OPINIONS: ========= - Why does long life imply intelligence? There are quite a few species on the Earth that live longer than humans. - The Gorn commander was foolish to attempt to kill Kirk *after* lifting the rock off him (since Kirk has the speed/maneuverability advantage). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Art Wallace GUESTS: Robert Lansing (Gary Seven) Terri Garr (Miss Lincoln) Jim Keefer, Morgan Jones Lincoln Demyan AIRED: March 29, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .650 Usenet rating: .709 QUOTES: ======= - "And a large star-shaped mole on her..." --Gary Seven's computer, just before Miss Lincoln manages to shut it up. ASSIGNMENT: EARTH PLOT: ===== The Enterprise travels back in time ("using the light speed breakaway method") to 1968 on a historical research mission. A plot develops when they accidentally intercept a long-range (1000 light years away) transporter beam. Gary Seven, along with his cat Isis, were on their way to Earth from a hidden planet to check on the development of his fellow agents who were supposed to sabotage and destroy a U.S. nuclear warhead [or was it an orbiting nuclear platform?] to prevent World War Three. He claims to have been taken from Earth ages ago by another planet. Kirk must decide if he is telling the truth or if he is a time-travelling saboteur. Gary Seven finds out that his fellow agents died in a car accident and decides to finish their mission. Miss Lincoln is a bimbo secretary of his deceased agent cohorts. FACTS: ====== - The Bridge Crew at Princeton claim the Enterprise went back to 1969, but I checked--it's 1968. - Gary Seven uses a talking computer with a round screen (like round screens are more high-tech; remember how long it took us to get to square screens?) - Spock's neck pinch doesn't work on Gary Seven. - Large wall safe is a transporter portal. - Use Enterprise deflector shields to avoid being seen from the planet. - This was supposed to be the pilot for a new show that never made it off the ground (which explains all the strange remarks at the end). - Nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Film Editing" Emmy in 68-69 (Donald R. Rode). Weird, since it was a 67-68 episode. - Kirk somehow makes a log entry with no communicator and a gun is trained at his head (just after a commercial). OPINIONS: ========= - Good idea for a plot, and a fairly decent execution. Some of the writing for Teri's part was pretty bad, however. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18 BALANCE OF TERROR --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Paul Schneider GUESTS: Mark Lenard (Romulan Commander) Paul Comi Lawrence Montaigne John Warburton Stephen Mines Barbara Baldavin Garry Walberg AIRED: December 15, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .440 Usenet rating: .809 QUOTES: ======= - "We are of a kind, you and I. [Under other circumstances] I could have called you friend." --Romulan Centurion - "[Scotty, you've earnwed your pay for the week.]" --Kirk (and/or in "The Doomsday Machine") BALANCE OF TERROR PLOT: ===== Kirk matches wits against the Romulan commander, trying to guess his next moves, after following a shadow into the neutral zone near where some outposts were destroyed. Now the Romulans have a cloaking device and superior weapons, but the Enterprise has superior speed (to the point that they can almost out-run the photon torpedoes [or were these just Romulan energy disruptors?]!) An Enterprise crew member (Mr Styles) is prejudiced against Spock when they see that Romulans look like Vulcans. The two races were once a single race according to Spock. FACTS: ====== - Astrodidium is the hardest metal known to science. - Enterprise phasers are short bursts like photon torpedoes. - Uhura takes over navigation. - Mr Styles is this week's dork. - Neutral zone outposts 2(?), 2, 4, and 8 were trashed by the Romulan ship before the Enterprise was able to engage (#4 was the one they saw get destroyed on the viewer). - Karl says this is the first encounter with the Romulans. I think the show said it is the first time any Federation people have *seen* a Rom- ulan, but that the Earth and the Federation fought a nuclear war with the Romulans 100 years ago (before they had viewer screens). - The "Bridge Crew" at Princeton think it is the first encounter between the species to occur in several decades. OPINIONS: ========= Would have been better without Styles, but it introduced a good enemy, new technology, and a further look into Vulcan history. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20 BREAD AND CIRCUSES --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene Roddenberry and Gene L. Coon (from a story by John Kneubel) GUESTS: William Smithers Logan Ramsey Ian Wolfe Rhodes Reason Lois Jewell Bart La Rue Jack Perkins AIRED: March 15, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .530 Usenet rating: .554 QUOTES: ======= - "He commands not only a spaceship - but a *starship*" --??? - "What do you call those?" --??? "I call them 'ears'." --Spock - "If you're speaking of worship, we serve many beliefs." --McCoy - "I don't want to injure you." --Spock (before hitting a man with a shield) - "Medical men are *trained* in logic." --McCoy "Trained? Judging from you, I would have guessed it was trial and error." --Spock - "______ died in your first world war, ______ died in your second world war, 37,___,___ died in your third world war." --Spock (speaking about Earth) - "An excellent example of Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planet Development." --Kirk - "I was told I am to be your slave tonight." --Drusilla - "I'm trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin." --McCoy BREAD AND CIRCUSES PLOT: ===== The crew of the Enterprise encounter an alternate Earth where Rome never fell. Looks Roman except for 20th century technology. FACTS: ====== Slaves. OPINIONS: ========= I wasn't that impressed. But then, you can only take *so* many "alternate Earth" stories... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 22 BY ANY OTHER NAME --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana and Jerome Bixby GUESTS: Warren Stevens Barbara Bouchet (Kelinda) Stewart Moss Robert Fortier Carol Byrd Leslie Dalton Julie Cobb AIRED: February 23, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .890 Usenet rating: .608 QUOTES: ======= - "Spock, what's the chance of human forms evolving outside our galaxy?" --Kirk "The chances are very much against it." --Spock (even though 98% of the life forms they meet *inside* the galaxy seem to be in human form) - "Oh, you're trying to seduce me." --Bimbo - "What is it?" --Andromeda Dude "Uh...It's green." --Scotty - "Would you please apologize to me again?" --Bimbo BY ANY OTHER NAME PLOT: ===== An alien race known as the Kelvins come from the Andromeda galaxy over many generations and wreck their ship. Pretty stupid, huh? Their galaxy is becoming unlivable, so they wish to take the Milky Way for themselves by force. They steal the Enterprise and turn the crew into cubes. They take human form to save on the budget of the show, but now are getting human emotions and senses. FACTS: ====== - Kirk falls in love with this Kelinda bimbo. - The Enterprise leaves the galaxy. - Spock sort of does the mind meld through solid rock. OPINIONS: ========= Pretty entertaining, as long as you don't try to over-analyze it. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 24 THE CAGE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene Roddenberry GUESTS: Jeffrey Hunter (Captain Christopher Pike) Majel Leigh Hudec (Number One) Susan Oliver (Vina) AIRED: Autumn, late 1980s (though written in 1965) HACK-MAN rating: .325 Usenet rating: .325 QUOTES: ======= - "We're passing through an old-style distress signal." --Extra - "Oh, I should have smelled trouble when I saw the swords and the armor. Instead of that I let myself get trapped in that deserted fortress and attacked by one of their warriors." --Chris Pike - "Engage." --Pike - "Time warp... factor seven." --Pike - "Have I permission to send out scouting and scientific parties now?" --Number One "Affirmative on the..." --Pike "You appear to be healthy and intelligent, Captain; a prime speciman." --Vina "I didn't get that last message, Captain." --Number One - "She was born almost as we crashed." --Scientist - "I have to wear soiething, don't I?" --Vina - Switch to rockets--we're blasting out." --Spock (after engines wouldn't pull them out of orbit) - "Their brains are three times the size of ours." (and are therefore much more intelligent) --Spock - "The Women!" --Spock - "I'm willing to bet you created an illusion this laser is empty. I think it just blasted a hole in that window and you're keeping us from seeing it. You want me toi test my theory out on your head?" --Pike - "She has illusion and you have reality. May you find your way as pleasant." --Keeper - "All ship's doctors are dirty old men." --Pike THE CAGE PLOT: ===== Captain Christopher Pike, his first officer Number One, and science officer Spock, are shown on board the Starship Enterprise on a mission to Vega where they were going to heal some Earth-folks. They respond to a distress call on Talos IV, where they find the remaining crew of an earlier Earth exploration (on the USS Columbia) which crashed on the planet. The colonists are all aging (male) scientists except for Vina, who is a cute, blonde who was born around the time they crashed (about 18 years back). The Enterprise crew soon realize that the whole colony is a fake as the Talosians take Pike and Vina down an elevator to their zoo, where they have various races that they are studying. Pike refuses to live out any fantasies that the Talosian Buttheads want him to (especially mating fantasies), so the Buttheads bring down Number One and another woman from the Enterprise (which prompts Spock to exclaim "The Women!!!") Pike doesn't want to mate with them either, so the Buttheads are wondering if they'll *ever* find a race to succeed them (the Buttheads are dying out because they're so smart that they are bored silly). Pike finally gets out of his cage, sees that Vina is horribly disfigured and wants to stay on the planet, and allows her to stay (along with her fake beauty and a hologram of Pike). FACTS: ====== - Pilot Episode. - Spock limps through the entire episode. They might have explained this as a casualty from their last mission. - Gravity of Talos IV is 0.9 of Earth - They just came from Rigel Seven. - Pike is responsible for 203 crewmembers (which may or may not imply that there are only 203 people on board). - Doc Phil has insignia with a globe of the western hemisphere; Pike has normal Enterprise logo (like Kirk/Spock have). - The Talosians search the Big E's computer banks and see pictures of Washington, Lincoln, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, flowers, animals, body parts, solar system, ships, etc. - Spock smiles upon seeing flowers that sing when near living flesh. - 2 to 9 dead. - The Enterprise is the only earthship to go to Talos IV. - "The Menagerie" takes place 31 years after the USS Columbia crashed, which is 13 years after the crew visits the planet in "The Cage". OPINIONS: ========= Good premise. Decent execution considering the time period it was made in. I'm glad they got rid of Pike and the old fart doctor. Kinda humorous to hear Spock shouting. You almost have to wonder what the series would have been like with Pike at the helm. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 26 THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Jerry Sohl GUESTS: Anthony Hall Clint Howard AIRED: November 10, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .440 Usenet rating: .522 QUOTES: ======= - "What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?" --McCoy - "If I jumped every time a light came on I'd end up talking to myself." --McCoy (to self) - "I'd like to get my hands on the person who assigned a female yeoman to me." --Kirk (after being nagged) - "Radiation level has entered the lethal zone" --Spock (although no one seems to have died from it.) - "What is it's mass?" --Kirk "It goes off the scale" --Spock - "It's over a mile in diameter." --Sulu - "You have an annoying fascination for timepieces, Mr. Sulu. --Scotty THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER PLOT: ===== To stave off an attack by an alien vessel, Kirk concocts the now-famous "Corbomite" bluff. Charting uncharted space, the Enterprise comes upon a warning buoy in the form of a rotating cube. They decide not to heed its warning and continue onward. A short guy in huge ship with smaller separatable ship offers tranja and "demonstrates superiority" by turning off visual on the Enterprise. Spock learns poker and the art of bluffing. Bailey is a weapon-happy dork who wants to shoot the buoy and anything else that moves. FACTS: ====== - During the power outage, a yeoman uses a hand-phaser to heat up some coffee. - Engine temperature reaches 8600 degrees (6400 is the maximum safe temperature.) - This episode has Spock, Sulu, Scotty, Bones, Uhura. - Slightly higher oxygen content. - Spock says his mother is from Earth. OPINIONS: ========= Plot dragged out a bit, but was sound. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 28 CATSPAW --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Robert Bloch and Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: Antoinette Bowers (Sylvia?) Theo Marcus (Korub?) Michael Barrier (DeFalco?) Jimmy Jones AIRED: October 27, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .440 Usenet rating: .381 QUOTES: ======= - "Analysis, Mr. Spock?" --Kirk "Very bad peotry, Captain." --Spock - "You'd be a natural." (for Halloween) --Kirk (to Spock) - "[I'll] bet credits to navy beans we can [punch a hole] in it." --DeFalco CATSPAW PLOT: ===== Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Sulu are thrown in a dungeon by Korub and Sylvia (black cat) to trick Kirk into giving them further scientific information. They probed their minds and reached the subconscious instead of the conscious, so are unaware that the Halloween charade they are putting on is not the norm for humans. They hang a toy Enterprise over a flame and the Enterprise becomes hot; also put a force field around it. Three witches. FACTS: ====== This is the first episode filmed with Ensign Chekov, though "Amok Time" was aired earlier. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 30 THE CHANGELING --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas GUESTS: Blaisdell Makee Vic Perrin (voice of Nomad) Arnold Lessing AIRED: September 29, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .560 Usenet rating: .442 QUOTES: ======= - "You are the creator; you are the Kirk." --Nomad - "Intelligence does not require bulk, Mr. Scott" --Spock (referencing his weight?) - "Congratulations, a dazzling display of logic." --Spock "Didn't think I had it in me, did you?" --Kirk "No." --Spock - "Your logic [is|was] impeccable, Captain. We are in grave danger." --Spock - "My son, the doctor." --Kirk (referring to Nomad) THE CHANGELING PLOT: ===== An ancient Earth probe Nomad collided with an alien biology probe (The Other) and both were damaged. It rebuilt itself as one probe, incredibly powerful, and thinks its mission is to sterilize all imperfect life forms. Kirk talks it into blowing itself up. FACTS: ====== - Jackson Roykirk created Nomad. - Nomad confused the similarity (phonetically, at least) between "Jackson Roykirk" and "Captain James Kirk". - Uhura's entire memory is wiped, but she is re-educated in a month or two. - One Yeoman is killed (Nomad damaged him too much to fix). - The Other was known as Tan Ru. - Scotty dies. - Spock Mind Melds with Nomad OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 32 CHARLIE X --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: Robert Walker, Jr. (Charlie X?) Abraham Sofaer Patricia McNulty Charles J. Stewart Dallas Mitchell AIRED: September 15, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .015 Usenet rating: .241 QUOTES: ======= - "Your illogical approach has its advantages." --Spock (apparently winning is illogical) CHARLIE X PLOT: ===== A teenager, raised by aliens and possessing some of their unusual powers, proves incapable of adjusting to human society and emotions. Charlie kills three, and erases another woman's face (but brings at least one of the people back. He killed 20 on the SS Antares. Charlie has the hots for Yeoman Rand, and slaps her on the posterior (after seeing someone else do similarly). FACTS: ====== - Kirk wins at 3-D chess after Spock announces mate in one. - 428 crew on Enterprise. OPINIONS: ========= Sucked rocks. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 34 THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Harlan Ellison GUESTS: Joan Collins (Edith Keeler) Bartell LaRue John Harmon AIRED: April 6, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .992 Usenet rating: .968 QUOTES: ======= - "Since before your sun burned I have awaited a question." --Guardian (the question was not asked of it, and other questions were asked before, but it didn't answer those.) - "[My friend here is obviously Chinese.] I see you've noticed the ears. [Well, they're] easy to explain. --Kirk "[Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child...] --Spock "[Yes, the unfortunate accident he had as a child... You see, he got his head caught in a mechanical] rice [picking machine. Fortunately, there was an American missionary nearby who was really a skilled plastic surgeon]..." --Kirk - "I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist." --McCoy (but he HAS a degree in psychiatry). - "I am attempting to make a [neumatic|pneumatuc|mnemonic] memory circuit [using] stone knives and bearskins." --Spock - "Let's get the hell out of here." --Kirk - "He knows, doctor. He knows." --Spock THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is orbiting a planet with ripples in time. While investigating, McCoy (suffering from an overdose of cordrazine) vanishes through a time portal (The Guardian of Forever, a giant talking donut-shaped rock) and somehow changes the past. One side effect is that the Enterprise and Star Fleet no longer exist, but for some reason the crew that are on planet still do. Kirk and Spock follow him to Earth's 1930s in an effort to rectify whatever it is that McCoy has done. FACTS: ====== - Tricorder says the Guardian is ten million years old. - A 2030 A.D. novelist from a star in the left side of Orion's Belt advises "Let me help" over "I love you" as the three most important words. - Ellison wrote the original version of "City on the Edge of Forever". It had McCoy drugged *NON*-accidentally among other things. It was a bit of a different story than what the aired version turned into. It needed major re-writing because most of the characters were out of character (as they had been defined in earlier episodes), the script had to be re-written, Ellison didn't like that, and the rest is history. If you get a chance, read both versions of the script. - Kirk falls for Edith Keeler. - First time "hell" was used on television as a ___. - Seven people beam up at the end (on to a transporter pad that hold six). OPINIONS: ========= One of the best-written stories in science fiction. Period. Probably the best acting I've seen out of DeForrest Kelley. Excellent portrayal of someone accidentally shot up. I'm not sure who was filling in for William Shatner this week, but the part of Kirk was played to perfection. The viewer can actually GET *IN* to the part, FEEL what Kirk felt for Edith, and HURT inside when he had to watch her die. One of the few episodes that can send chills up your spine. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 36 THE CLOUD MINDERS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Margaret Armen (from a story by David Gerrold and Oliver Crawford) GUESTS: Jeff Corey Diana Ewing (Droxine?) Charlene Polite (Vanna?) Fred Williamson Ed Long AIRED: February 28, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .350 Usenet rating: .432 QUOTES: ======= - "May I point out that a first officer is more expendable than either a captain or a [first officer[?]]" -- Spock THE CLOUD MINDERS PLOT: ===== Kirk's attempt to pick up a shipment of a vital mineral embroils him in the demands of the oppressed miners (Trogs) against the cultured rulers on cloud city. The planet Ardona is the only place where senite exists. The dust in the mines causes mental retardation in the Trogs, who want Kirk to help them. Kirk doesn't want to get involved, but needs the senite.. FACTS: ====== - Yes, it is "Cloud Minders", not "Cloud Miners". I checked the video- disc. - Kirk defies Star Fleet Command. - Spock falls in love with Droxine. - Kirk falls for Vanna. OPINIONS: ========= An interesting (and fairly original) plot. Would have been interesting to see them expand on it a bit. The storyline is very socially conscious with respect to 1960s USA. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 38 THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Barry Trivers GUESTS: Arnold Moss (Kodos?) Barbara Anderson (Lenore) Bruce Hyde Eddie Paskey AIRED: December 8, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .510 Usenet rating: .377 QUOTES: ======= - "My father's race was spared the dubious benefits of alcohol." --Spock "Oh. Now I know why they were conquered." --McCoy (In some other episode it is mentioned that Vulcan has not been conquered in known history) THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING PLOT: ===== Kirk suspects the star of a Shakespearean acting troupe may be the infamous "Kodos the Executioner", presumed dead for twenty years. Twenty years ago a supply ship was delayed and all people on the planet were doomed to die of starvation. Kodos divided population into two groups, the ones that would live and the ones that would die. This plan would at least save half of the population. For some reason Kodos is condemned for trying to save half the people instead of letting *everyone* die ("the death of the many outweighs the death of the few"?). FACTS: ====== - This is the episode that features the only Federation doorknob (other than Kirk). It's right after the opening credits; not sure why it was important. Someone else thought there was a doorknob in The Menagerie. - This is the only episode to show the Big E Observation Deck. - Also the only episode to feature a "double red alert" (when the phaser was on overload). - Sort of defy Star Fleet Command. - Lenore Karidian woos Kirk in order to kill him. OPINIONS: ========= Plot was okay and didn't drag too much, but the reason Kodus was disliked was a bit bogus. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 40 COURT-MARTIAL --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Don M. Mankiewica and Stephen W. Carabatsos GUESTS: Percy Rodriguez (Attorney?) Elisha Cook, Jr. Joan Marshall Richard Webb Alice Rawlings Hagan Beggs Winston DeLugo AIRED: February 2, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .325 Usenet rating: .532 QUOTES: ======= - "You may be able to beat your next captain at chess." --Kirk. COURT-MARTIAL PLOT: ===== Kirk is placed on trial when the ship's records show that he committed an error that cost a crewmember's life. The "dead" crewman changed the ship's computer tapes so it shows Kirk jettisoning the pod during YELLOW alert instead of red alert. Spock wins at 3-D chess against the computer five games in a row, convincing him that the ship's computer has been tampered with (the best he should have been able to achieve was a draw since he programmed the game in himself.) McCoy masks out the heartbeat of all remaining crewmembers after most have beamed down to see if anyone is hiding. For some reason they can tell how many life forms are on a planet they are orbiting, but not on their own ship! McCoy masks Spock's heartbeat out as if it were in the human position rather than the Vulcan position. They then listen to the noises with the heartbeats masked out and hear another single heartbeat (and for some reason don't hear their voices amplified about a billion times). FACTS: ====== - The crewman "died" at stardate 2945.7. - Kirk was an ensign on the USS Republic NCC-1371. - Kirk's serial number is S [D|C] -937-0176-CEC (Captain, Starship Commander). - Spock's serial number is S-179-276-SP (Lt. Commander, First Officer, Science Officer). - McCoy is Lt. Commander, Ship's Surgeon. - Kirk mentions amplifying "one to the fourth power" - Kirk was hot for Areel Shaw. He might also have had a tryst with Yeoman Helen Johannson. OPINIONS: ========= Pretty minor offense for losing one's captaincy over. Seems like they'd be firing captains every day if this were the policy. They make a big deal of "books" and "rights of the accused". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 42 DAGGER OF THE MIND --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Shimon Wincelberg GUESTS: James Gregory (Van Gelder?) Morgan Woodward Marianna Hill Suzanne Wasson AIRED: November 3, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .780 Usenet rating: .645 QUOTES: ======= DAGGER OF THE MIND PLOT: ===== A deranged escapee from a penal planet causes Kirk to investigate the psychiatric treatments being administered there. The rehabilitation planet has a mind controller/neural neutralizer. FACTS: ====== - First use of the Vulcan mind meld on a human (Dr. Van Gelder). - 1 Stardate > 10 hours. OPINIONS: ========= Good acting on the part of VanGelder (Spock isn't too bad either). Kirk falls for Dr. Helen Noel. He apparently had his way with her at the Science Lab Christmas party. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 44 DAY OF THE DOVE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Jerome Bixby GUESTS: Michael Ansara (Kang?) Susan Howard (Mrs. Mara Kang?) AIRED: November 1, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .895 Usenet rating: .676 QUOTES: ======= DAY OF THE DOVE PLOT: ===== Klingons and the Enterprise crew must unite to overcome an alien pinwheel that feeds on hatred. The alien has the Klingons and the Enterprise crew kill each other, then brings them back to life to cause more hostility. FACTS: ====== - Klingon == Kang? - Klingons have no devil (they apparently get one (named Feklar) in the next hundred years, according to TNG's "Devil's Due") - Chekov tries to rape Kara. - While under the influence of the pinwheel, Chekov thinks he has a brother. OPINIONS: ========= Some good humor, and good dialog at the end between the two "superpowers", and the Klingon slapping Kirk's back. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 46 THE DEADLY YEARS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: David P. Harmon GUESTS: Charles Drake Sarah Marshall Beverly Washburn Felix Locker Carolyn Nelson Laura Wood AIRED: December 8, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .650 Usenet rating: .683 QUOTES: ======= - "I'm not a magician, I'm just an old country doctor." --McCoy - "If I live long enough, I'm going to run out of samples." --Chekov THE DEADLY YEARS PLOT: ===== Kirk is relieved of command when he and other officers contract a disease from a passing comet that induces senility and death by old age within days. The planet Gamma Hydra 4 passed through the tail of a comet. Chekov doesn't age like the rest; they try to explain this because he was scared and got his adrenaline flowing. Some diplomat who's never come close to commanding a starship (Commodore Stocker) is put in charge instead of Chekov, and decides to take a shortcut through the Romulan Neutral Zone like a dork. Kirk bluffs about corbomite to Star Fleet Command in a code he knows the Romulans have cracked, saying that it will make this area of space uninhabitable for two solar years. The Romulans back off and Kirk gets out of there. FACTS: ====== - Starbase 10 has better medical facilities than the Enterprise. - McCoy refers to Spock's age as "the high side of 100". - Kirk had a fling with Dr. Janice Wallice. - Kirk was 34, but now is 65-72. - They use a needle on Chekov (I thought needles had been replaced by hypos). - Stardate 3478.2-3579.4 ??? OPINIONS: ========= Can be hard to follow the plot on the first viewing, but not all that bad an episode once it sinks in. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 48 THE DEVIL IN THE DARK --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene L. Coon GUESTS: Ken Lynch (Vandenburg?) Janos Prohaska Barry Russo Brad Weston Biff Elliott AIRED: March 9, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .312 Usenet rating: .496 QUOTES: ======= - "Phaser One is far less powerful than Phaser Two" --Spock - "Silicon based life is physiologically impossible" --McCoy - "I'm a doctor, not a brick layer" --McCoy - "Shoot to kill" --Kirk. - "I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day." --McCoy ? THE DEVIL IN THE DARK PLOT: ===== A mining operation on a planet with the richest abundance of minerals anywhere is plagued by a series of mysterious and grisly deaths. Add to that the mysterious disappearance of their life-support pump (there's no oxygen down there). The Enterprise is called upon to investigate and/or evacuate the remaining miners. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy find a bunch of silicon globes (the miners have been keeping them as souvenirs and/or destroying them) and a series of tunnels that have been carved recently. Upon further investigation, they find that the deaths were caused by a silicon-based horta that moves through rock as easily as humans move through air. It is the last of its species and the globes that were found were her eggs. It was killing the miners with her acid in self-defense to keep her species alive (and stole the life-support system to try to make the miners go away). It is described as a "hairy beast", but is later found to be a highly intelligent breathing rock. Kirk and Spock discuss the possibility of silicon-based beings (or beings not carbon-based) apparently forgetting that Nancy the salt-sucker was silicon-based. McCoy later comes down and says that silicon-based life is impossible. Kirk wants to kill it, despite the fact that it is the last of its species, and refuses to weigh his options. Their phasers don't do too much to slow it down. Kirk orders the remaining miners up to the ship (most have already beamed up), but they (lead by this week's dork, Vandenburg) want to fight it with clubs (maybe clubs are more powerful than phasers, eh?) Kirk (in an attempt to win back the "dork of the week" prize) says "good" (non-sarcastically). Spock mind melds with it in an attempt to communicate, and senses how much pain she's in. She finds humans rather ugly, but likes Spock's ears. It then writes "no kill i" by burning away rock with its acid. Kirk is unsure if she means that she doesn't want to kill or that she doesn't want to be killed. They beam McCoy down to help repair the damaged horta. Eventually, they strike up a bargain. The miners don't destroy any more eggs and don't harm the horta. The horta will make their tunnels in the direction the miners want. FACTS: ====== - Kirk is this week's dork: not trying to preserve life, etc. - This is the last episode to be watched by me. It took until 6/7/88 for me to see it. - Every 50,000 years the race of horta all die save the one mother horta. - Spock mind melds with the horta. OPINIONS: ========= Bogometer was in the "high" range through most of the show. The opening looked like a bad 1920 movie. This is why I probably never saw the episode until 1988; I didn't realize I was watching "Star Trek". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 50 THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Norman Spinrad GUESTS: William Windom (Matt Decker) Elizabeth Rogers John Copage Richard Compton John Winston Tim Burns AIRED: October 20, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .325 Usenet rating: .749 QUOTES: ======= - "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic." --McCoy - "They can't take much more of this." --Spock (about the deflectors) - "Gentlemen, I suggest you beam me aboard." --Kirk - "[Scotty, you've earned your pay for the week]." --Kirk (and/or in "Balance of Terror") THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE PLOT: ===== The Starship Enterprise and the damaged Starship Constellation (sans its 400 crew) battle an enormous horn/carrot-shaped machine that destroys planets and ships for fuel. It came from outside the galaxy, and is headed for the Rigel system, the most densely populated part of the galaxy. Its hull is solid neutronium. Commodore Matt Decker, who somehow got to be a starfleet officer (and good friend of Kirk, naturally), steals the Enterprise (after destroying his own ship - the Constellation NCC-1017 - and his 400 crew), and eventually kamikazes himself into the horn with an Enterprise shuttlecraft. The seven planets in system L370 are destroyed, and all but two planets on system L374 (Decker beamed his crew to the third planet). FACTS: ====== - Decker has a different insignia on his shirt--like a script capital "I". - No Uhura. - Decker is this week's dork. - USS Constellation's log is Stardate 4202.1. - Nominated for "Outstanding Achievements in Film Editing" Emmy in 67-68 (Donald R. Rode). - Wil Decker (from the movies) is probably Matt Decker's son. - Transporter malfunction. OPINIONS: ========= The plot was okay, but Decker was bogus. Is there some unwritten law in Star Fleet that you can't be a high-ranking official unless you're borderline insane? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 52 ELAAN OF TROYIUS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas GUESTS: France Nuyen (Elaan) Jay Robinson (Petri) Tony Young (Kryton) Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel) Lee Duncan (Evens) Victor Brandt (Watson) Dick Durdock (Guard #1) Charles Beck (Guard #2) K.L. Smith (Klingon) AIRED: December 20, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .205 Usenet rating: .450 QUOTES: ======= - "If I have to stay here for ten light years..." --_____ - "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?" --McCoy - "Spock, the women on your planet are logical. It is the only planet that can make that claim." --Kirk ELAAN OF TROYIUS PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is transporting Princess Dolman (a spoiled wench) to be married (poor groom) to the ruler of a planet her people are at war with. Things get complicated when Kirk falls in love with the princess. Women of Elas have magic tears that make you fall in love with them when touched and the spell never wears off (as if Kirk need a *reason* to fall in love with a woman). There is no antidote to the spell the tears cast. McCoy spends the entire episode trying to come up with an antidote, and finally does just before the end of the episode. It isn't needed, though, because Kirk is able to resist her on his own due to his first love--that of the Enterprise. Kinda makes you wanna retch, eh? Dolman is wearing a dilithium crystal necklace. Dilithium crystals are abundant on Elas, which has the Klingons interested in the planet. Klingons sabotage Enterprise's warp drive so it will go kablooie. If the Enterprise had used warp as the Klingons wanted, *both* ships would have been destroyed!! FACTS: ====== - Kirk wants the princess to eat chicken (or something with very little meat on a bone) with *silverware*. - Elaan Dolman is the spoiled white Elasian. - Ambassador Petri is a blue Troyian. - 1 Enterprise crewman dead (engineering). - Telon star system. - Planet Elas. - Aphrodisiacal tears. - The Elasian is let on board with personal atomic weapons?! - The Elasian ship had atomic propulsion. OPINIONS: ========= She was a bit too much to take, and detracted from whatever plot there was. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 54 THE EMPATH --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Joyce Muskat GUESTS: Kathryn Hays (Gem) Alan Bergman Willard Sage Jason Wingreen Davis Roberts AIRED: December 6, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .250 Usenet rating: .240 QUOTES: ======= - "I'm a doctor, not a coal miner." --McCoy - " !" --Gem THE EMPATH PLOT: ===== A mute woman (Gem) is capable of absorbing the pain and injuries of others. The Vians (fathead aliens) manipulate Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, administering pain, to see if they can teach Gem compassion. In order to do this, the Vians have to put McCoy in so much pain that he'll die or Spock in so much pain that he will [go insane|become a vegetable]. FACTS: ====== - McCoy mutinies. - At the end, Scotty tells the "Tale of the Merchant" (the parable of the pearl of great price from the Christian gospels. OPINIONS: ========= The plot dragged out to long. Pretty cheap set. Great dialogue from Gem. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 56 THE ENEMY WITHIN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Richard Matheson GUESTS: Jim Goodwin Edward Madden Garland Thompson AIRED: October 6, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .650 Usenet rating: .521 QUOTES: ======= THE ENEMY WITHIN PLOT: ===== A transporter malfunction splits Kirk into two bodies, each possessing half of his personality. One Kirk is brutal and incapable of control; the other is gentle and incapable of command. FACTS: ====== - Yeoman Janice Rand's quarters = 3C 36 (?). - Stardate 1672.1-1672.9-1673.1-1673.5-1673.1 (confirmed!) - Unicorn dog. - Kirk tries to rape Janice. - Planet is 120 degrees below zero. OPINIONS: ========= Plot was good for an early episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 58 THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: Joanne Linville (Romulan Commander Chick) Jack Donner Richard Compton Robert Gentile Gordon Coffey, Mike Howden AIRED: September 27, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .670 Usenet rating: .819 QUOTES: ======= - "Is it true or just myth that Vulcans are incapable of lying?" --Romulan Commander Chick "It is no myth." --Spock - "I, too am moved emotionally." --Spock - "Who are you who could do this to me?" --Romulan Commander Chick "First officer of the Enterprise. What is your present form of execution?" --Spock THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT PLOT: ===== Kirk goes insane and orders the Enterprise across the neutral zone into Romulan space. Spock scans no ships within one parsec, then three Klingon vessels appear (Romulans are now using Klingon design and have a cloaking device). Romulans have Kirk and Spock beam on board; Lt Commander Scott takes over. Spock falls in love with Romulan Commander Chick. Spock instinctively uses the Vulcan death grip on his captain when Kirk attacks him. Kirk is brought back to Enterprise, adds ears and eyebrows, and returns to the Romulan ship to steal the cloaking device. FACTS: ====== - Spock has served the Federation for 18 years. - Romulans got Klingon warships in a trade agreement. OPINIONS: ========= Pretty darn good. Some nice new sets, a decent plot, and some better-than- usual acting. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 60 ERRAND OF MERCY --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene L. Coon GUESTS: John Abbott John Colicos (Klingan Commander Kuul) Peter Brocco Victor Lundin David Hilary Huges AIRED: March 23, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .665 Usenet rating: .764 QUOTES: ======= - "The odds? It's difficult to be precise. Approximately 7824 to 1." --Spock - "Fascinating... pure energy... pure thought." --Spock (used in the Minneapolis band Information Society's song "Pure Energy") - "I'm a soldier--not a diplomat." --Kirk - "Even the gods did not spring into being overnight." --Spock - "[Well, the Federation has spent a lot of money on our training; it's time they got a] return [on their] investment." --Kirk ERRAND OF MERCY PLOT: ===== Klingons are taking over Organia, a peaceful planet. Kirk and Spock are stranded on Organia and try to interfere, despite the Organians' insistence of non-violence. I like the fact that the Organians see that they have a choice of dealing with the Federation or dealing with their enemies instead of blindly thanking Kirk for interfering! The Klingons decide to kill a hundred Organians an hour until Kirk and Spock are turned over to them. The Organians don't really care, because they don't need their humanoid bodies anyway. Organians are pure energy; pure thought. FACTS: ====== - First episode with Klingons. - Code 1 = war. - Klingon commander Kuul. - Kirk asks Spock how much StarFleet has invested in him. Spock gives an accurate figure. - All weapons heated to 350 degrees (on some scale; likely Fahrenheit). OPINIONS: ========= A "fun episode". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 62 FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Rik Vollaerts GUESTS: Kate Woodville (Natira) Byron Morrow Jon Lormer AIRED: November 8, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .??? Usenet rating: .563 QUOTES: ======= FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY PLOT: ===== McCoy, suffering from a fatal disease, falls in love with Natira, the priestess of a planetoid/spaceship on a collision course with another planet. McCoy has one year to live and agrees to marry Natira, but ends up leaving her. FACTS: ====== - People live underground. - Embedded pain disks in head. - Oracle. - Great title! :-) - McCoy agrees to marry, but sails away. OPINIONS: ========= They mention at the end that they'll be back in a year. Sounds like a setup for a sequel. It's been a loooong year. :-) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 64 FRIDAY'S CHILD --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: Tige Andres Michael Dante Julie Newmar Cal Bolder Kirk Raymone Ben Gage, Robert Bralver AIRED: March 22, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .430 Usenet rating: .512 QUOTES: ======= - "I'm a doctor, not an escalator." --Bones - "Oochy woochie goochy coo, Captain?" --Spock FRIDAY'S CHILD PLOT: ===== Negotiations over mining rights become a battle for survival when McCoy unintentionally violates a tribal taboo by touching the leader's pregnant wife. The Enterprise and the Klingons are on Capella 4 trying to get a contract with a seven foot tall race to mine trapoline. Things get complicated when the tribal leader dies. FACTS: ====== - The child is named "Leonard James Akah-ar". - Boomerang weapon. - USS Carolina. - SS Diadra is a freighter (warp 2 is max speed for a freighter). - In the book version of this episode, the planet is called Ceres. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 66 THE GALILEO SEVEN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Oliver Crawford and Shimon Wincelberg GUESTS: Don Marshall Peter Marko Rees Vaughan Grant Woods Phyllis Douglas John Crawford AIRED: January 5, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .500 Usenet rating: .461 QUOTES: ======= - "I'm *depending* on luck." --Kirk - "I say we hit them dead on." --Boman "[un?]fortunately, I am in command" --Spock - "Spock, remind me to tell you that I'm sick and tired of your logic" --McCoy "A most illogical attitude" --Spock - "You reasoned that it was time for an emotional outburst." --Kirk - "You're not going to admit that, for the first time in your life, you made a completely emotional decision based on desperation?" --Kirk "No, sir." --Spock "You are a very stubborn man, Mr. Spock" --Kirk "Yes sir" --Spock - "We're getting a mass of readings I've never seen before." --Sulu THE GALILEO SEVEN PLOT: ===== Spock finds himself in charge of a small crew and the shuttlecraft Galileo, stranded on a hostile planetoid (Tarrus 2). McCoy, Scotty, and four extras (making seven) deal with Spock's logical leadership, trying to guess the next illogical move of a group of Neanderthals (eleven foot tall furry creatures similar to Hansen's planet). They are unable to communicate with the Enterprise because of a quasar-like formation (Morisaki), they encountered on the way to Marcus 3. The Neanderthals don't behave as Spock guessed they would because they are too primitive to think logically. McCoy and the others want to kill the Neanderthals rather than just scare them off (like Spock wanted). Spock doesn't like the low regard humans have for life (though he *can* kill when he feels like it (ref A taste of Armegeddon). Meanwhile, back on the Enterprise, Kirk is under time pressure by some diplomat to get him to some conference or something, so Kirk has to give up searching for the stranded seven. The shuttle drained most or all of its power just landing safely, so they are unable to reach escape velocity. Even if they could, the shuttle could only lift the weight of four bodies, even after getting rid of unneeded machinery. Spock must decide who lives and who stays on the planet to die (kinda like Kolus the Executioner from "Conscience of the King"). McCoy and Mr. Boman would rather have random chance decide which four will pilot the shuttlecraft instead of who is qualified to do so. What's worse, McCoy would rather that six people die instead of one. Mr. Boman would rather bury a dead guy instead of fixing the ship and having a chance to escape alive. Spock's calmness when in command seems to be what really pisses Bones off. The castaways finally get the shuttlecraft airborne by draining their hand phasers into the power supply of the shuttle. Spock then logically decides to be emotional by jettisoning the last of the shuttlecraft's fuel as a signal to the Enterprise. For some illogical reason, Spock doesn't want to keep enough fuel to land again for when the Enterprise returns. At the end, the entire bridge crew laughs openly in Spock's face. FACTS: ====== - 1 stardate is 22.86 hours. - 1 stardate < 36.23 hours. - Space normal speed is less than warp one. - Galileo NCC-1701/7 also used in "Metamorphosis" although it is destroyed in this episode. - Shuttlecraft Columbus is sent out to find the Galileo shuttlecraft. - Sort of defy Star Fleet Command. - High [Commander|Commissioner] Ferrus is this week's main dork. - McCoy and Mr. Boman split the award for best supporting dork. - Spock has personality problems when in command (see also "The Tholean Web". OPINIONS: ========= General question that I thought of while viewing this episode: The Federation doesn't care about killing flies. Spock doesn't want to kill the Neanderthal creatures in this episodes, but apparently it would be okay to since several members of the landing party want to. How much intelligence does a being have to have before they can't kill it according to Star Fleet Command? A fine line must exist, and how do they measure this? If you ignore the three dorks, it's a pretty good episode of "Gilligan's Island" in space. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 68 THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Margaret Armen GUESTS: John Ruskin (Galt) Angelique Pettyjohn (Shahna - Kirk's Drill Thrall) Steve Sandor Jane Ross Victoria George Mickey Morton AIRED: January 5, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .420 Usenet rating: .394 QUOTES: ======= - "Can people [survive] that long as disassembled atoms?" --McCoy "I don't [believe I've heard of such] a study being done; it would be a fascinating [study, however]." --Spock - "I am pursuing the Captain, Lt. Uhura, and Ensign Chekov, not wild aquatic fowl." --Spock - "Thank you...'Miss'?" --Chekov - "You are a fine specimen. I like you better than the others." --M____ (Chekov's Drill Thrall) THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION PLOT: ===== Kirk, Uhura, and Chekov are captured for use in gambling conflicts. The Providers (3 brains without bodies) bid for people in auction. G[o|a]lt is auctioneer. They bid in quatloos. They keep the three in cells, feed them, and have drill thralls to keep them company. Kirk gets a decent drill thrall in Shahna, but Chekov's (Tamoon) is less than appealing. FACTS: ====== - At SD 3259.2 Kirk et.al. had been missing for 2 hrs. - Angelique Pettyjohn has been in a few X-rated movies and sells posters of herself in revealing drill thrall gear at Star Trek conventions. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 70 I, MUDD --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Stephen Kandel GUESTS: Roger C. Carmel (Harry Mudd) Richard Tatro (Norman?) Mike Howden Michael Zaslow Kay Elliott Rhae Andrece Alice Andrece Tom LeGarde Ted LeGarde Maureen Thornton Colleen Thornton Tamara Wilson Starr Wilson AIRED: November 3, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .778 Usenet rating: .668 QUOTES: ======= - "Spock, you're going to love it here - they all talk just like you." --Mudd - "I think of her constantly, and every time I do I go further out in space." --Mudd (about his wife Stella) - "Why should I leave?" --Android chick "Because we don't like you, shush, shush, shush." --Kirk - "A whole plethora of series." --Spock - "I fail to see why I should induce my mother to purchase falsified patents." --Spock - "Logic is a [little] tweeting bird [chirping in a meadow]; logic is a wreath of [pretty] flowers that smell bad. Are you sure your circuits are registering correctly? Your ears are [turning] green." --Spock (lying, although he can't lie.) I, MUDD PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is forced to a planet populated by 207,809 androids and ruled by their old nemesis, Harcourt Fenton Mudd (III?). Norman (the main android) had been a member of the Enterprise crew for three days, then diverted the ship to Mudd's uncharted planet (4 solar days at warp 7, arrived at SD 4513.3). They didn't realize he was an android, though McCoy or someone thought he was a bit too stiff. Andromeda residents built the androids, but then their sun novaed, and the few remaining beings died off eventually. Mudd's stolen ship had to land on this planet, where the androids want to serve him and learn about him. He had them create an android replica of his wife Stella. Mudd and Norman have Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and Uhura beam down, and eventually beams the entire crew down (after beaming up androids to take over their positions). A human brain can be put in android body and live 500,000 years (the immortality and eternal beauty intrigue Uhura initially). FACTS: ====== - Kirk and company talk more androids to death with illogic. - Mudd rules a class K (can support life with pressure domes and life support system) planet. - If all the crew are on the planet and all androids are disabled, how do they get back to the ship? They mentioned in "This Side of Paradise" that they cannot get back up to the Enterprise unless one person remains behind. No automatic - that sounds like a great idea for a starship!! - Spock lies, though he is incapable of lying. OPINIONS: ========= This was a pretty good episode. The casting, dialog, and acting for the characters of Stella and Harcourt were excellent! *Real* computers have circuit breakers. :-) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 72 THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Robert Sabaroff GUESTS: None AIRED: January 19, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: . Usenet rating: .598 QUOTES: ======= - "Tell Doctor McCoy he should have wished me luck." --Spock - "Shut up, Spock, we're rescuing you." --McCoy "Why, thank you, Captain McCoy." --Spock - "I've never encountered readings like this before." --Spock - "I've never experienced anything like it." --Scotty THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME PLOT: ===== A giant single-celled creature, which feeds on the energy necessary to our form of life, invades our galaxy. I assume it's from another galaxy. Spock ventures into the amoeba (zone of darkness) in a shuttlecraft, and is almost stranded. FACTS: ====== - USS Intrepid. - 400 Vulcans dead on Starbase 6. - 1 stardate is less than 2.5 hours. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 74 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Jean Lisette Aroeste GUESTS: Diana Muldaur (Dr. Miranda Jones) David Frankham (Larry Marvick) AIRED: October 18, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .210 Usenet rating: .411 QUOTES: ======= IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY? PLOT: ===== Miranda Jones, a telepath, is jealous of Spock's greater abilities in forming a mind-link with Kolos, an alien so ugly that the very sight of him can drive a man insane. Kolus is in a small box (great way to save on the F/X budget). Spock forgets to wear his visor (with some help of Miranda), causing him to go crazy and take the Enterprise out of the galaxy. Spock deduces that Miranda is blind, and McCoy realizes that her dress is giving her information on her surroundings (she can judge distances much more accurately than unaided humans). FACTS: ====== - Kolos is a Medusan. - First use of prosthetic visual device (Miranda's dress sensor array). - Spock wears the IDIC out of respect for Dr. Jones. IDIC = Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. - Kirk doesn't wear his protective visor at the end of the episode, but since he's superhuman anyway, apparently he isn't effected. - Spock mind melds with the Medusan. OPINIONS: ========= Why didn't McCoy know about this dress thing? Was it Federation science or alien? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 76 JOURNEY TO BABEL --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: Jane Wyatt (Amanda) Mark Lenard (Sarek) William O'Connell Reggie Nalder John Wheeler James X. Mitchell AIRED: November 17, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .670 Usenet rating: .766 QUOTES: ======= - "Offense is a human emotion" --Sarek. - "Threats are illogical and payments are usually expensive" --Sarek. - "Worry is a human emotion" --Spock. - "Indeed... I would estimate the odds..." --Spock "Please don't." --Amanda - "Shut up!" -McCoy to Spock - "What do you know... I finally got the last word in." --McCoy JOURNEY TO BABEL PLOT: ===== Crisis piles atop crisis when the Enterprise is in charge of transporting a volatile cargo of Federation diplomats (114 delegates, many of them admirals), including Spock's parents (Sarek and Amanda). Sarek is having problems with his heart, though he hasn't told his wife about it. First, Spock uses illogic to say that the death of the two outweighs the death of the one. Amanda argues (logically) that "why should you both die?" Kirk gets injured and cannot command the ship (confined to sick bay or he'll bleed a lot). Now (reversing her logicity) Amanda says Spock should do the transfusion. The intruder is signaling to a small kamikaze scout ship which is going at warp 10. Andorians are blue aliens with antennae. Telleroids are snout-nosed aliens, hot to pick a fight with Sarek over his vote in the upcoming vote of whether or not to let some dilithium-rich planet into the federation. Sarek shows almost human pride according to Amanda. Kirk (not wanting to let Spock "commit patricide" although he "can't condemn him for his loyalty") pretends to be okay so he can take command back, then give command immediately to Scotty. But before he can call Scotty, the Enterprise is under attack so he tells Scotty to forget it (even though the battle seems to go on for a long time (plenty of time for Scotty to come up and take over and let Kirk get back to sick bay)). Spock figures out the answer, so naturally (instead of letting him save ALL the lives on board) Nurse Chapel sedates him so there's a CHANCE of saving his father (who might die along with everyone else now that Spock can't tell Kirk what he knows). FACTS: ====== - Spock and Sarek haven't spoken in eighteen years. - Spock hasn't been to Vulcan in 4 years. - Sarek is 102.437 Earth years old (young for a Vulcan). - Sarek's blood type is T negative (rare even for a Vulcan). Spock's blood is the same type, but has human elements mixed in with it (but they can be filtered out). - After slapping Spock, Amanda walks to a door, it opens, she walks through, and it closes. Spock starts to follow, walks up to the door, and it doesn't open. - Amanda mentions that Spock had a pet salek (selat?) (a live, fat teddy bear with six inch fangs) when he was a child, and McCoy teases him about it. - Sarek thinks that Amanda embarrassed Spock, but my guess is that embarrassment is a human emotion. - Tal-shiah is the Vulcan art of neck-breaking. - Rigelian physiology is similar to Vulcan. - Sarek married Amanda because "at the time it seemed the logical thing to do." - Shatner pronounces it "bAY-bel". - A red shirt discovers a dead diplomat and hits a communications panel; the artificially intelligent comm panel KNOWS that he wants to talk to the bridge and connects him there without even saying anything. - When Kirk calls Spock's mother "Mrs. Sarek" she says to call her "Amanda" because the family name is too hard to pronounce (although she has been able to after quite some time). Is Kirk's remark something like calling his wife "Mrs. Jim"? McCoy continues to call her "Mrs. Sarek" throughout the show (apparently he prefers being incorrect to being familiar). - McCoy gets the last word in. - At the end of the show, Uhura is the highest ranking officer left, but since the writers (or whomever) couldn't stomach the idea of putting her in charge, Chekov takes the con. OPINIONS: ========= Pretty good episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 78 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Oliver Crawford (from a story by Lee Cronin) GUESTS: Frank Gorshin (Beel) Lou Antonio (Lokai) AIRED: January 10, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .110 Usenet rating: .220 QUOTES: ======= LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD PLOT: ===== Two two-toned beings, each the last member of their respective race on the planet Sharon, try to get Kirk to take sides in their disputes. They steal the Enterprise and end up beaming down to their old planet to finish the fight. For 50000 Earth years Beel (the Black/White) has chased Lokai (the White/Black slave). Kirk tries to self-destruct the Enterprise. FACTS: ====== - Beel (the one who was black on our left (his right)) was played by one of the actors who portrayed the Riddler on the Batman TV series. - For the self-destruct: Kirk: sequence 1 code 1-1A Spock: sequence 2 code 1-1A-2B Scotty: sequence 3 code 1[B|D]-2[B|D]-3. - After someone leaves in a turbolife, another is immediately available. OPINIONS: ========= Dragged longer than it should have, not unlike the original "Twilight Zone" television series. I could have done without the stupid camera tricks as well (the eyes and zooming in and out on flashing lights). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 80 THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Jeremy Tarcher and Shari Lewis GUESTS: Jan Shutan (Mira Romane?) John Winston Libby Erwin Bud da Vinci AIRED: January 31, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .300 Usenet rating: .389 QUOTES: ======= THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR PLOT: ===== An electrical cloud formed by the life-essences of the long-dead Zetarians seeks to possess the body of Scotty's new-found sweetheart, Mira Romane. Her brain pattern matches that of the cloud. She is put into a pressure chamber to rid her of the cloud. FACTS: ====== - Mira has lights in her eyes when possessed. - It is an unnatural phenomenon because no natural phenomenon can move faster than the speed of light. - Defy Star Fleet Command. OPINIONS: ========= Scotty probably should have been put on report for his oversights during this episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 82 THE MAN TRAP --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: George Clayton Johnson GUESTS: Jeanne Bal (Nancy Crater?) Francine Pyne Alfred Ryder Michael Zaslow Bruce Watson Vince Howard AIRED: September 8, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .360 Usenet rating: .294 QUOTES: ======= THE MAN TRAP PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is ravaged by a creature that sucks the salt from its victims' bodies. It is capable of assuming any identity, including McCoy's old flame Nancy Crater, a crewman Uhura has the hots for, McCoy, etc. FACTS: ====== - Since several people were looking at the being at the beginning and seeing different people, I would assume that is a mind controller, not a shape-changer. - The salt-sucker suit shows up later as part of General Trelane's collection in "The Squire of Gothos". OPINIONS: ========= Not the tightest plot, but fairly decent for first-season. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 84 THE MARK OF GIDEON --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: George F. Slavin and Stanley Adams GUESTS: Sharon Acker (Odona) David Hurst Gene Kynarski Richard Derr AIRED: January 17, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .090 Usenet rating: .295 QUOTES: ======= THE MARK OF GIDEON PLOT: ===== Kirk is decoyed into a replica of the Enterprise, empty except for Odona, a dizzy chick. Spock is on the Enterprise, searching for him through a slough of red tape, and eventually defies Star Fleet Command. The people of Gideon are trying to get infected by Kirk to control their overpopulation problem. FACTS: ====== - Spock defies Star Fleet Command. OPINIONS: ========= Stank on ice. You can only take so many of these "1960s social issues" episodes (popu- lation control). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 86 THE MENAGERIE (part 1) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene Roddenberry GUESTS: Jeffrey Hunter (Young Pike) Susan Oliver (Vina) Malachi Throne Julie Parrish Hagan Beggs Peter Duryea Meg Wylie John Hoyt Majel Barrett (Number One) AIRED: November 17, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .570 Usenet rating: .780 QUOTES: ======= - "We've learned to tie into every human organ except one: the brain" --McCoy THE MENAGERIE (part 1) PLOT: ===== Spock steals the Enterprise and its old captain, Christopher Pike (who is now an invalid incapable of speech or movement, except for a blinking light). Kirk and another officer (Commodore Mendez) chase after him in a shuttlecraft. Spock beams the two aboard after the shuttlecraft runs out of fuel. Spock sets the ship on automatic control (destination: Talos IV) and kills the override (crosses it with life-support). Three captains are present, so court-martial proceedings can take place, with Spock showing scenes from "The Cage" (Star Trek's original pilot episode), the Enterprise voyage 13 years ago, as testimony. FACTS: ====== - Someone claims there is a doorknob on the door to Captain Pike's quarters, and that it is the only doorknob in a federation setting. This is really ironic, since Captain Pike is the only person who is not able to turn such a knob! - The only way to get the death penalty anymore is to go to Talos IV (general order 7). - The shuttlecraft that Kirk is on is a class F shuttlecraft with theranium hull. - Spock served under Pike for 11 years, 4 months, 5 days. OPINIONS: ========= Captain Pike's one-bit prosthetic device is pretty lame. We have better technology than that in this century. Why didn't they just hook up a universal translator to a mind-reading device, as in Metamorphosis, or just assign him a nurse from a telepathic species? There are many better solutions than a single light which he can blink once or twice. How about three lights on the front of his chair: A green one for "yes", a red one for "no", and a yellow one for "now *there's* a hot babe; I wouldn't mind getting into *her* pants if I weren't confined to this damn wheelchair!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 88 THE MENAGERIE (part 2) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene Roddenberry GUESTS: Jeffrey Hunter (Young Pike) Susan Oliver (Vina) Malachi Throne Julie Parrish Hagan Beggs Peter Duryea Meg Wylie John Hoyt Majel Barrett (Number One) AIRED: November 24, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .570 Usenet rating: .743 QUOTES: ======= - "Captain Pike has illusion, and you have reality. May you find your way as pleasant." --The Keeper THE MENAGERIE (part 2) PLOT: ===== Spock shows more scenes from "The Cage", the third captain disappears (he was never really there, the Talosians were making the crew think he was there to keep them occupied with the hearings). Pike returns to the fatheads, who make him think he is cured and can walk and is young and everything. Talosians make your dreams come true. FACTS: ====== - Spock defies Star Fleet Command, Kirk, and Pike. - Thirty-one years ago USS Columbia crashed on Talos IV. - Thirteen years ago the USS Enterprise (Pike, Spock, Number One, 203 crew) went to Talos IV. - The Enterprise is the only earthship to go to Talos IV. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 90 METAMORPHOSIS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene L. Coon GUESTS: Glenn Corbett (Zephran Cochran) Elinor Donahue (Miss Hepburn) AIRED: November 10, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .450 Usenet rating: .426 QUOTES: ======= - "Let me feel the earth beneath my feet [blah blah] sun." --Someone (but since they weren't on the Earth, they should have said "ground", etc.) METAMORPHOSIS PLOT: ===== While transporting an annoying Starfleet ambassador/observer wench somewhere (she caught a disease on her last assignment and McCoy is worried the whole show that she is going to die), the Enterprise receives a distress signal. An Enterprise shuttlecraft (along with the wench, who went along to the planet for some reason) is forced down to the planet that the signal originated at. On the planet they find Zephran Cochran, who has been kept immortal by a cloud of electricity called the Companion, who brought Kirk, et.al. to the planet to keep Zephran company. FACTS: ====== - First episode with Gene Roddenberry in opening credits? - Shuttlecraft Galileo. - Miss Hepburn was this week's dork. - Class H-M planets can support human life. - Zephran Cochran (of Alpha Centauri) was supposed to have died 150 years ago at the age of 87. He was the inventor of the warp drive. OPINIONS: ========= Plot was fine, but the wench spoiled it. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 92 MIRI --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Adrian Spies GUESTS: Kim Darby (Miri?) Michael J. Pollard Jim Goodwin John Megna Ed McCready Dawn Roddenberry (kid) ___ Shatner (kid) ___ Shatner (kid) AIRED: October 27, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .312 Usenet rating: .264 QUOTES: ======= - "On the ship... I wanted to get you to look at my legs..." --Janice Rand (to Kirk) MIRI PLOT: ===== The landing party contracts a disease that strikes after puberty, while the children (the only ones alive on the planet) refuse to let them contact the ship. FACTS: ====== - 300-year-old children die at age 300. - The children call the crew "grupps" (grownups). - Earth-like planet (outline of North America) except for the lack of clouds, circa 1960's. - 1 stardate = 12.97 hours. - 1 stardate > 24.05 hours. - One of Shatner's kids may have an uncredited acting role in this one. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 94 MIRROR, MIRROR --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Jerome Bixby GUESTS: Barbara Luna (Marlena Monroe) Vic Perrin AIRED: October 6, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .850 Usenet rating: .824 QUOTES: ======= - "I'm a doctor, not an engineer." --McCoy "Now you're an engineer." --Scotty - "You want credits, Spock? I'll make you a rich man." --Mirror-Kirk - "I've never seen perfection, but no woman could come closer to it." --Kirk - "Regrettable that this society has chosen suicide." --Mirror-Spock - "I'll have you all executed!" --??? "I think not." --??? - "Jim, [let me stay]." --Scotty (the only time he called Kirk "Jim") MIRROR, MIRROR PLOT: ===== Due to a transporter malfunction, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura are accidentally exchanged with their counterparts in a parallel universe, where the Federation is a violent, dictatorial Empire. In the alternate universe, the crew murder to rise in rank (Kirk took command of the ISS Enterprise after assassinating Captain Pike, etc). On the ISS Enterprise, the captain's woman, Marlena Monroe, shows Kirk the Tantalis Field, which can destroy a person without being present. FACTS: ====== - Alternate universe. - Spock has a beard in the alternate universe. - Mirror-Kirk assassinated Pike, ___, then assassinated colonists on Vega 9. - The Halokin predict galactic revolt. - Alternate-Sulu makes a play for Uhura. - Kirk falls for the alternate Marlena. - The Mirror-Spock estimates the overthrow of the Empire in 240 years. - Mirror-Spock mind melds with McCoy. OPINIONS: ========= Pretty good episode, and it let the actors be out of character, which is always good. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 96 MUDD'S WOMEN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Stephen Kandel GUESTS: Roger C. Carmel (Harry Mudd) Keren Steele (Eve?) Susan Denberg (Bachelorette #2?) Maggie Thrett (Bachelorette #3?) Gene Dynarski (miner?) Jim Goodwin (miner?) Jon Kowal (miner?) Seamon Glass AIRED: October 13, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .455 Usenet rating: .463 QUOTES: ======= - "This is me cargo" --Mudd (referring to the three women) - "The fact that my internal organization differs from yours pleases me to no end." --Spock (after McCoy makes some crack about his heart being around his left hip) MUDD'S WOMEN PLOT: ===== Jack-of-all-illegal-trades Harry Mudd is transported aboard the Enterprise along with his cargo, three irresistibly beautiful women. Mudd uses beauty pills "Venus drug" to make women beautiful, then sells them to wealthy single miners. Kirk uses up the dilithium crystals chasing Mudd into an asteroid field and goes to Rigel 12 to get new ones, where he replaces Mudd's pills with gelatin (thus proving to the women that it wasn't really the drug that made them beautiful; beauty comes from within (barf)). FACTS: ====== - Mr Ferrill is this week's dork. - Spock thinks dilithium crystals are "beautiful". - Dilithium crystals are referred to as "lithium" crystals in this epi- sode. - Harcourt Fenton Mudd's master's license revoked on stardate 1116.4. - Stardate 1329.9 (?) to 29.1 to 29.2 to 30.1 - Kirk falls for Eve McHuron. OPINIONS: ========= An average episode overall. Not bad for an early episode. The Mudd character is always a joy to watch. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 98 THE NAKED TIME --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: John D. F. Black GUESTS: Stewart Moss (Tormolen) Majel Barrett (Christine) Bruce Hyde (Riley) Grace Lee Whitney (Yeoman Rand) William Knight (Amorous Crewman) John Bellah (Laughing Crewman) AIRED: September 29, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .550 Usenet rating: .642 QUOTES: ======= - "It's like nothing we've dealt with before." --Spock - "I can't change the laws of physics; I've got to have 30 minutes." --Scotty - "...my beautiful yeoman..." --Kirk - "Skin temperature is 2170 degrees" --Spock(?) - "Take D'Artangian to sick bay." --Spock - "242 pulse, blood pressure almost non-existent (that is if you call that green stuff in your veins blood)." --McCoy "The readings are [okay]. As for my anatomy being different from yours - I am delighted." --Spock - "I'll save you, fair maiden." --Sulu - "Don't you think I'd shut if off if I could?!" --Uhura THE NAKED TIME PLOT: ===== A strange malady strikes the crew of the Enterprise, causing them to succumb to their innermost desires. Everyone goes insane. FACTS: ====== - Spock cries. - Sulu fancies himself a swashbuckler. - Sulu makes a play for Uhura. - They go back in time. - Nurse Chapel has the hots for Spock. - They have to cold-start the engines. - Kevin Thomas Reiley is this week's dork. OPINIONS: ========= Another wonderful episode where the actors are allowed to step outside of their usual personas. They show a clock when they go back in time. The clock is one of those old "spinning dials with numbers on it" type digital clocks. The label on it says "minutes", but in "The Savage Curtain", Lincoln asks if they still use minutes, and Kirk says "we can convert". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 100 OBSESSION --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Art Wallace GUESTS: Stephen Brooks (Garavik?) Jerry Ayres AIRED: December 15, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .425 Usenet rating: .576 QUOTES: ======= - "Crazy way to travel... spreading a man's molecules all over the uni- verse." --McCoy - "This is impossible. Nothing could do that." --Redshirt (who gets it) - "What happened is medically impossible." --McCoy - "If we keep this speed, we'll blow up any minute now." --Scotty - "Thank heavens" --Scotty. "Mr Scott, there was no deity involved; it was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them" --Spock. "Well, then thank pitchforks and point[ed|y] ears." --McCoy. OBSESSION PLOT: ===== Kirk disregards all other responsibilities in an effort to destroy a gaseous vampire cloud that feeds on red corpuscles. Kirk was supposed to rendezvous with the USS Yorktown in two hours because vaccines are needed on Theta 7. Eleven years ago something happened to the USS Ferrigut. The captain (Garavik) and half the crew died (200 people). This was Lt Kirk's first mission. Everyone has been calling it "the creature", then when Spock calls it "the creature", McCoy questions this name. Kirk has ensign Garavik accompany him on the planet, where he attacks Kirk in a flash of bravery/stupidity (isn't this a court-martial offense?) FACTS: ====== - Rock is 21.x times harder than diamonds. - They use "phaser two" again. - Spock's hemoglobin is based on copper, not iron. OPINIONS: ========= Not an outstanding episode, but not one that should be avoided. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 102 THE OMEGA GLORY --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene Roddenberry GUESTS: Morgan Woodward Toy Jensen Irene Kelley David L. Ross Eddie Paskey Ed McReady Lloyd Kino Morgan Farley AIRED: March 1, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .440 Usenet rating: .367 QUOTES: ======= - The ham-acting at the end is a pretty good quote by Shatner. THE OMEGA GLORY PLOT: ===== Captain Tracy (who somehow became an officer in Star Fleet) defies Star Fleet Command because he thinks he's found a planet of eternal youth, and decides to meddle in the struggle between the Yangs and the Coms. This alternate Earth has the U.S. flag, some American documents, and a book with a picture of Satan who looks like Spock. Kirk and Spock are in a cell and try to befriend a larger inmate. FACTS: ====== - Alternate Earth. - Captain Tracy is this week's dork. - Defy Star Fleet Command. - Spock sort of uses the Vulcan mind meld across a crowded room. OPINIONS: ========= Shatner's ham-acting is the only real reason to watch this episode. The basic plot isn't all that bad, but the execution of it isn't carried off all that well. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 104 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Stephen W. Carabatsos GUESTS: Dave Armstrong Craig Hundley Joan Swift Maurishka AIRED: April 13, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .775 Usenet rating: .576 QUOTES: ======= - "[I don't care what it takes or costs, just help him]." --Kirk OPERATION--ANNIHILATE! PLOT: ===== Parasitic creatures (flying pizza bats/fried eggs) cause insanity in victims by landing on their backs and entering the nervous system via the spine, which they wrap around. Jim's brother Sam Kirk is dead on the planet, but they manage to save Jim's nephew Peter Kirk. Spock is infected by one of the parasites. McCoy thinks light might destroy them (1000 candles per square inch), so Spock logically decided to get blinded instead of wearing protective goggles. Vulcans have a second eyelid that Spock never thought to bring up and McCoy for some reason was unaware of. The eggs came 8 months ago (they are actually brain cells of some larger being). Enterprise outside hull temperature is 1000 degrees and rising when they chase a small ship into the sun. FACTS: ====== - Mass insanity in Denoba system. - George Samuel Kirk (Sam) is a research biologist. - Sam Kirk's private frequency is "______, subspace frequency three". - Colonized 1000 years ago. - Sick bay register #2: the K3 indicator displays the level of pain. - This is the last episode with "the" final frontier in the opening. - McCoy thinks the good of the none outweigh the good of the many (doesn't want to kill millions to save billions when the millions would die either way.) - The Enterprise is at warp 8 inside a solar system (I thought you couldn't use warp inside a solar system?) - Kirk says "I don't care what it takes or costs, just help him." ("Costs"? I didn't think they still had money in that century) - Scotty made the asteroid belt run as an engineering advisor. OPINIONS: ========= Plot was enjoyable, but Spock was bogus. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 106 THE PARADISE SYNDROME --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Margaret Armen GUESTS: Sabrina Scharf (Mirimani) Rudy Solari (Mirimani's old mate?) AIRED: October 4, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .996 Usenet rating: .646 QUOTES: ======= - "Each kiss is as the first." --Mirimani THE PARADISE SYNDROME PLOT: ===== The Enterprise has to deal with a meteor that is about to collide with a planet of American Indians. Kirk accidentally enters a temple in which he accidentally pushes a button, causing him to lose his memory. Spock gives up the search for him in order to deflect the meteor. Kirk is seen emerging from the temple and is assumed to be a god by the Indian populace (brought from Earth by aliens). Kirk marries Mirimani, who has his child, but she dies before it is born during a stoning of her and Kirk for being a fraud. FACTS: ====== - Alternate Earth (transplanted Earth colony). - Nurse Chapel has blue underwear. - This episode spans more than 59 days. - "He Has Walked Among Us" and "Paleface" were combined into "The Paradise Syndrome", according to speculation by Allen Asherman and David Gerrold. Reportedly, only Gene Coon knew for sure, and of course he's been dead for about 15 years... OPINIONS: ========= It's really hard not to like this episode. The Preservers probably also seeded humans on Omega IV ("The Omega Glory"), Ekos (""), The Second Earth ("Miri"), The Roman Planet ("Bread and Circuses"), Paradise Planet ("The Paradise Syndrome"). --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 108 PATTERNS OF FORCE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas GUESTS: David Brian (John Gill?) Skip Homeier (Mal*) Richard Evans Valora Norland (Blond spy) William Wintersole Patrick Horgan Ralph Maurer Gilbert Green Bart LaRue Paul Baxley Pater Canon AIRED: February 16, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .860 Usenet rating: .648 QUOTES: ======= - "He must be dead." --McCoy (about Gill) - "You should make a very convincing Nazi." --Spock to Kirk - "The pain!" --Kirk - "[I'm starting to see why humans enjoy gambling.] No matter how [precisely one calculates the odds...] --Spock "Very good, Spock. We may make a human out of you yet." --Kirk "I [certainly] hope not." --Spock - "I don't care if you hit the broad side of a barn." --Kirk "Why should I wish to aim at such a structure?" --Spock - "What in blazes is this?" --McCoy - "Note the [___] eyes and the malformed ears. Obviously [an inferior race]" --Mal?k* - "[Note the low forehead]. The dull look of a trapped animal." --Mal?k* - "Is he dead, Captain?" --Spock "Dead." --Kirk - "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." --McCoy - "[ , ]Alexander, [___], Caesar, [___] Napoleon [___], Hitler, [___] Li Quan." --Spock PATTERNS OF FORCE PLOT: ===== A Federation historian (John Gill - Kirk's instructor at the Academy) ignores the Prime Directive (as seems to be a prerequisite for entrance into the Federation) and reshapes a planet's society along the lines of Nazi Germany. Landing party implants subcutaneous transponders under their skin to be used as transporter locators for Kirk and Spock. FACTS: ====== - Alternate Earth (changed to be patterned after Earth). - Spock's whip marks are green; Kirk's are red. - Vulcan mind probe. OPINIONS: ========= Another episode that's hard not to enjoy. The transponders were a great idea in general, but this is the only episode where they used them, and then they didn't use them for their intended purpose! Of course, the real reason is that a lot of episodes would be way too short if it were possible to beam our heroes out of trouble. making a laser out of a transponder and a light bulb is somewhat bogus, and especially being able to aim it as accurately as they did. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 110 A PIECE OF THE ACTION --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: David P. Harmon and Gene L. Coon GUESTS: Anthony Caruso (Bella Oxmix) Victor Tayback (Georgeo Krako) Lee Delano John Harmon Steve Arnold Dyanne Thorne Sharon Hillyer Sheldon Collins AIRED: January 12, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .845 Usenet rating: .848 QUOTES: ======= - "Fascinating." --Spock (after staring at the posterior of a woman in a short skirt walking by) - "This is like coming home." --McCoy "Home was never like this." --Kirk - "Don't give me those baby blue eyes." --Gangster - "That man's dead back there." --McCoy - "Published in 1992." --Kirk - "On Beta Antares Four they play a card game..." --Kirk - "The name of the game is called fizbin. Each player gets six cards exceptfor the dealer and the player on the dealer's [right]." --Kirk - "The odds of getting a royal fizbin are astronomical... Spock, what are the odds of getting a royal fizbin?" --Kirk "I have never computed them." --Spock - "Makers of bang-bang... the sweetest little [heater|cereal] in the..." --radio - "I just think your behavior is arrested." --Kirk "I ain't never been arrested in my whole life." --Krako - "Why would he put a bag on my captain?" --Spock - "They can't do nothin' til they're through sparklin'" --Gangster - "Sir, you are employing a double negative." --Spock "Eh?" --Oxmix - "[...] logic [...] ---Spock "You admit that." --McCoy "To deny that would be illogical." --Spock - "Get out of the clothes." --Kirk - "Captain, you are an excellent Starship Captain, but as a taxi driver you leave much to be desired." --Spock - "Where'd you get them ears?" --Kid "Young man!" --Spock - "Out of the mouths of babes..." --Kirk "Who you callin' a babe?" --Young Man "I'm calling you a babe... but [don't take it personally.]" --Kirk - "Who's your friend with the ears, Kirk?" --Krako - "I believe it would be wise to do as he says. I believe I [just heard]" --Spock "[Just heard the] sound of a machine gun bolt being pulled back." --Kirk - "That's peanuts to [an outfit like the] Federation. Right?" --Kirk "Unquestionably." --Spock "*Right*?" --Kirk "Right." --Spock - "Miniscule... a very... small... piece [of the action]" --Spock - "Check?" -Kirk "Right." -Spock - "Right?" --Kirk "Check." --Spock - "It looks like *we* put the bag on you." --Scott - "[___] you'll be wearin' concrete galoshes." --Scott "You mean cement overshoes?" --Krako "Aye." --Scott - "You afraid of cars?" --Kirk "[No], it's your driving." --Spock - "[ ] neutronium, but [ ]." --Scott - "I would advise *youse* to keep dialing, Oxmix." --Spock - "I'm comin' over with a couple of my boys and I'll... mother." --Boss - "The transtator is the basic [component] in all of our machinery." --Kirk - "Daddy, daddy, I hurt myself!" --Boy "Whatsa matter kid, you hurt yourself?" --Guard A PIECE OF THE ACTION PLOT: ===== Kirk must find a way to counteract the effects of an earlier expedition, which caused a planet's civilization (Iotians) to pattern itself after the Chicago mobs of the Twenties. Kirk calls McCoy "Sawbones" and calls Spock "Spocko". FACTS: ====== - Alternate Earth (the Iotians are imitative and pattern their lives after a book about the 1920s). - The USS Horizon left the book. - Vulcan nerve pinch. OPINIONS: ========= A good "campy" episode; entertaining in much in the same way as the old "Batman" television series was. Another one of those wonderful episodes where the actors are able to step out of character. It could have been worse. They could have accidentally left a really bad novel behind... like maybe "The Royale". :-) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 112 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Meyer Dolinsky GUESTS: Michael Dunn Liam Sullivan Barbara Babcock Ted Scott Derek Partridge AIRED: November 22, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .640 Usenet rating: .450 QUOTES: ======= "I stopped aging at 30... I am 2300 years old" --Main chick PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN PLOT: ===== Telekinetic Greeks get their power from the local food. Alexander the dwarf doesn't have the power. Spock sings and laughs. FACTS: ====== - They got the power ____ months after their food supply ran out and they had to start eating the local food. - First inter-racial kiss on television. The only reason it was likely let by the censors is that the kiss was "forced" by the gods. OPINIONS: ========= One of the least annoying performances of a dwarf in all of videodom. Another of those episodes where they make a great discovery (how to induce telekinesis), but they never use it again in later episodes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 114 A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene Roddenberry (from a story by Judd Crucis) GUESTS: Nancy Kovack (Nona) Michael Witney (Nona's old hubbie?) Booker Marshall Arthur Bernard Joe Romeo AIRED: February 2, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .550 Usenet rating: .565 QUOTES: ======= - "War isn't a good life, but it's [a] life." --Kirk - "Well, you got what you wanted[, Captain]." --McCoy "Not what I wanted... what had to be." --Kirk - "Beam us up home." --Kirk A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR PLOT: ===== When the Klingons arm one tribe on a once-peaceful planet, Kirk decides to arm the other tribe. Kirk is jumped by a furry white beast, then saved by Nona who cuts her hand, then uses a live root to heal him, which acts as a love potion (like it's needed for Kirk to fall in love with a chick). Nona finds herself surrounded by her enemies, and tries to offer Kirk's phaser in orser to stay alive. When help arrives, her captors think it was a trap, and fatally stab her. FACTS: ====== OPINIONS: ========= Plot was original, but Kirk was bogus. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 116 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Jerome Bixby GUESTS: James Daly (Flint) Louise Sorel (Rana Kepec) AIRED: February 14, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .660 Usenet rating: .564 QUOTES: ======= - "Do you think the two of us can handle a drunk Vulcan?" --McCoy - "We put on a pretty poor show, didn't we?" --Kirk (a good quote to take out of context :-) - "Forget..." --Spock REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH PLOT: ===== The Enterprise crew has contracted Rigelian fever (the modern equivalent of the bubonic plague). Flint is an immortal being. Kirk falls in love with android Rana, who was built and taught by Flint, and has the equivalent of (16?) university degrees. Flint built the M4 robot to serve him. Spock experiences envy for Flint's art collection, drinks 100 year old Brandy, plays piano, and erases part of Kirk's memory. Flint wanted to use Kirk to rouse emotions in Rana, so that she would become fully human and would be a suitable, immortal mate. FACTS: ====== - Flint was born in 834 B.C. - Flint was lots of famous people: Methuselum, daVinci, Socrates, Moses, Brahms. - 1 stardate is about 960 hours! - Spock wipes Kirk's memory (form of mind meld). OPINIONS: ========= Another good idea with a fairly decent plot execution. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 118 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Boris Sobelman GUESTS: Harry Townes Torin Thatcher Charles Macauley Christopher Held Brioni Farrell Sid Haig Jon Lormer Morgan Farley Ralph Maurer Eddie Paskey David L. Ross AIRED: February 9, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .740 Usenet rating: .451 QUOTES: ======= - "Are you of the body?" --McCoy - "Festival!" --Crowd - "Impossible. He's under extremely strong mind control." --Spock RETURN OF THE ARCHONS PLOT: ===== An entire planet is under the total mental control of a mysterious being known as "Landru", who turns out to be the ruling computer. Kirk, et.al. find a cult-like society where everyone is mindless, spaced out, content, except during "festival" when everyone goes crazy. Hooded people keep order, using hollow rods as weapons. Kirk decides that this isn't the way a society should live, and destroys the computer (again). FACTS: ====== - Is Torin Thatcher related to Kirk Thatcher ("Star Trek IV")? OPINIONS: ========= You gotta watch this episode just for McCoy's facial expressions when he's brainwashed. :-) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 120 RETURN TO TOMORROW --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: John Kingsbridge GUESTS: Diana Muldaur (Ann Mulhall) AIRED: February 9, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .250 Usenet rating: .438 QUOTES: ======= - "All readings are off the scale, Captain." --Ann Mulhall RETURN TO TOMORROW PLOT: ===== Highly advance alien minds in globes "borrow" three bodies, including those of Kirk and Spock, in order to build permanent android bodies. One of them does not wish to leave his borrowed body. Sargon is one of the aliens. FACTS: ====== OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 122 THE SAVAGE CURTAIN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Arthur Heinemann and Gene Roddenberry GUESTS: Barry Atwater (Surak) Phillip Pine (Col. Green) Arell Blanton (Chief Security Guard) Carol Daniels DeMent (Zora) Robert Herrun (Kahless) Nathan Jung (Ghengis Khan) Lee Bergere (Lincoln?) Janos Prohaska Bart LaRue Lt. Arell Blanton AIRED: March 7, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .840 Usenet rating: .574 QUOTES: ======= - "Scotty, inform Starfleet Command; disengage nacelles, jettison if [possible]." --Kirk - "[My adversary packs a pretty good punch] for someone [who doesn't exist. But I forget, you don't believe I exist]." --Lincoln - "A Vulcan would not cry out so." --Spock (therefore this isn't really Surek we hear calling for help , but let's walk into the trap anyway, ok?) THE SAVAGE CURTAIN PLOT: ===== Lincoln of Earth and Surak of Vulcan join Kirk and Spock in battle against Ghengis Khan, Mr. Green (from Earth's 1990's?), a Romulan/Klingon, and some evil chick, while a hot alien talking rock observes the differences between good and evil. Surak refuses to fight because he's a pacifist. Spock idolizes Surak, but will fight by Kirk's side. Lincoln doesn't mind fighting as much. Surak and Lincoln both die. Good triumphs over evil (again) and Kirk refuses to kill his enemy (again). FACTS: ====== - Surak is the Buddha/Socrates/Jesus figure of Vulcan culture OPINIONS: ========= Pretty good for yet another "Good vs Evil" story. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 124 SHORE LEAVE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Theodore Sturgeon GUESTS: Emily Banks (Yeoman Tonia Barrows?) Oliver McGowan (Finigan?) Perry Lopez Bruce Mars James Gruzaf Shirley Bonne (Ruth?) Sebastion Tom AIRED: December 29, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .725 Usenet rating: .566 QUOTES: ======= - "Stardate 3025-point-ahhhh-3." --Kirk - "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play. --Kirk SHORE LEAVE PLOT: ===== The crew of the Enterprise takes shore leave on a planet where their every thought is immediately converted into reality, including Alice and the White Rabbit and Kirk's friend (?) [Finigan|Finnegan]. FACTS: ====== - McCoy dies. - McCoy falls for Yeoman Tonia Barrows. - Kirk is about 35 years old. - First episode with McCoy in opening credits? - Kirk imagines his old flame Ruth. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 126 SPACE SEED --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gene L. Coon and Carey Wilbur GUESTS: Ricardo Montalban (Khan) Madlyn Rhue (McGivers?) Blaisdell Makee Mark Tobin AIRED: February 16, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .998 Usenet rating: .763 QUOTES: ======= - "Irritation? I am not capable of that emotion" -Spock - "Superior ability breeds superior ambition" --Spock - "I am surprised to see you, Captain, though pleased." --Spock SPACE SEED PLOT: ===== The Enterprise runs across an atomic-powered sleeper ship (the SS Botany Bay, with transistors) full of supermen fleeing their defeat in the Eugenics War on Earth (1993 - where superior humans were cross-bred). McGivers is a Enterprise crewmember skilled in 20th century Earth history, who falls in love with Khan and chooses to be banished with him at the end. FACTS: ====== - The Enterprise was on its way to Starbase 12. - Earth used cryogenics through 2018. - McCoy gives Khan instructions on how to kill him. - When Kirk smashes Khan's glass container, his phaser falls off and McCoy keeps looking at it, wondering if they're going to re-shoot the scene! - Khan's ship is atomic powered. OPINIONS: ========= Ricardo Mantalban does the best acting job on any trek episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 128 SPECTRE OF THE GUN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Lee Cronin GUESTS: Ron Soble (Wyatt Earp) Bonnie Beecher (Sylvia) Charles Maxwell (Virgil Earp) Rex Holman (Morgan Earp) Sam Gilman (Doc Holliday) Charles Seel (Ed) Bill Zuckert (Johnny Behan) Ed McCready (Barber) Abraham Sofaer (Melkotian Voice) Gregg Palmer Richard Anthony AIRED: October 25, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .835 Usenet rating: .541 QUOTES: ======= - "There's nothing I can do, Jim." -McCoy (when Chekov dies) - "History cannot be changed." --Spock (even though they almost change history often) - "Energy output increasing beyond measurable levels, Captain." --Spock - "Impossible, Dr. McCoy. My transporter was working perfectly." --Scotty - "That's impossible. Things like this can't happen." --Scotty SPECTRE OF THE GUN PLOT: ===== Kirk, Spock, Scotty, McCoy, and Chekov find themselves on the losing side of the gunfight at the OK Corral when they choose to ignore a warning buoy (shaped like a boxkite) and cross into Melkotian-owned space. Kirk hears the warning in English, Spock in Vulcan, Uhura in Swahili, [and Chekov in Russian?], so it was likely done with telepathy. They try various ways of convincing the people of the town that they are not who they appear to be, but everyone thinks they are in character. They try to leave town, but find a force-field. They try to stay in town and avoid the O.K. Corral, but are transported there. Spock mind-melds Kirk, Scotty, and McCoy (Chekov was already shot dead) into believing that the bullets are not real. FACTS: ====== - October 26, 1881. - Star Date 4385.3 - Warp 2. - Kirk is this week's dork for ignoring the warning. - Chekov falls in love with Sylvia and dies. - Spock in a mind meld orgy. OPINIONS: ========= Some pretty good character acting in this episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 130 SPOCK'S BRAIN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Lee Cronin GUESTS: Marj Dusay (Kara) Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel) James Daris (Creature) Sheila Leighton (Luma) AIRED: September 20, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .115 Usenet rating: .163 QUOTES: ======= - "[Givers of] pain and delight [she said...]" --Kirk "[Well, surely you noticed] the delightful aspects." --McCoy "[I certainly did notice] those delightful aspects." --Kirk - "Brain and [more] brain; what is brain?" --Bimbo - "[Yes, it's so simple] a child could [do it]..." --McCoy - "He's operating at warp speed." --Scotty. - "While I might trust the doctor to remove a splinter or lance a boil, I cannot trust him to replace a brain." --Spock - "[The knowledge to reconnect a brain] does not [exist yet in the galaxy.] --Spock - "I never should have re-connected his mouth." --McCoy SPOCK'S BRAIN PLOT: ===== A race of imbecile women steal Spock's brain to lead them. McCoy and Scotty hook up Spock's body to move via remote control. Kirk must decide which of three habitated planets Spock's brain was taken to, although none of them should possess the technology to surgically remove a brain. Naturally, after Chekov's descriptoins of the planets evolution and population, Kirk chooses the most primitive planet. Women live underground in a climate-controlled cave, while the men must survive in the Arctic temperatures on the surface. McCoy puts on the "Teacher", a thinking cap that gives you lots of knowledge for a short while (in order to re-install Spock's brain.) Without Spock to keep everything running, the women have to start *thinking* again. FACTS: ====== - Planet is Sigmus Dricomus 7. - Givers of pain and delight. - How come when everyone is unconscious Kirk always wakes up first? - The bimbo's ship uses ion-propulsion, so they know it is highly ad- vanced. - Star Date goes from 5431.4-4351.5-5431.6-5432.3 - They have 24 hours to put Spock's brain back in. - At Star Date 5431.4 they have 8.x hours left. - At Star Date 4351.5 they have 8.x hours left. OPINIONS: ========= Not as bad as some people claim, as long as you take it for its comedic value rather than looking for a deep plot. There are times I find myself laughing out loud at this episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 132 THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Paul Schneider GUESTS: William Campbell (Trelane) Richard Carlyle Michael Barrier Venita Wolf AIRED: January 12, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .660 Usenet rating: .528 QUOTES: ======= - "'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected, 'interesting' shall suffice here." --Spock - "I object to you. I object to intellect without [...], to power without constructive purpose." -- Spock - "[Spock,] you have one saving grace after all: you're ill mannered." --Trelane - "You cheated!" --Trelane - "I woulda won! I woulda!" --Trelane THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS PLOT: ===== The crew of the Enterprise are made unwilling guests of the powerful but capricious General Trelane (retired). This weapon-happy person made the planet Gothos a copy of the Earth as he sees it (900 years ago since he is 900 light years away) - Napoleonic. Kirk destroys his power source hidden behind a mirror, which only makes Trelane more angry. Eventually, his parents tell him to come home; that he is being a naughty boy. FACTS: ====== - James Doohan does the voice of Trelane's father. - The salt-sucker suit from "The Man Trap" shows up in Trelane's collection. - They got their math wrong on this episode with respect to how long it has been since the time of Napolean. - Trelane knows what kind of gun killed Alexander Hamilton, who hadn't been killed in the time he was viewing Earth. OPINIONS: ========= Trelane appears to be an earlier version of the ever-popular "Q" character from "Star Trek: The Next Generation". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 134 A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Robert Jamner and Gene L. Coon GUESTS: Gene Lyons David Opatoshu Robert Sampson Barbara Babcock Miko Mayama David L. Ross Sean Kenney AIRED: February 23, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .350 Usenet rating: .598 QUOTES: ======= - "Sensor readings just shot off the scale." --Ensign DePaul - "There is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder." --Spock A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON PLOT: ===== The Enterprise and her crew are declared casualties in an interplanetary war that has been going on for 500 years and is entirely simulated by computers. Kirk learns this after ignoring a code 7 (like a complete dweeb) and approaching the planet anyway. By entering the airspace of the planet, the Enterprise is a valid target and is "hit" by a computer simulated missile. The crew must follow the other 126,520 casualties into the disintegration chambers or the two planets will have a full-scale REAL war. Kirk refuses in the hopes that the planets would rather talk peace than fight a non-simulated war. FACTS: ====== - The USS Valiant was lost. - Code 7 means to stay away. - Star cluster NGC-321. - Scotty defies Star Fleet Command. - The Federation diplomat is the main dork this week, with an assist by Kirk. - The onboard ambassador and Kirk split the honor of being this week's dork, the former for his idiotic actions ("of course we will lower the shields, as a sign of friendship") and the latter for ignoring the code seven in the first place. - General Order 24 (toast the planet if I don't get back to you). OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 136 THAT WHICH SURVIVES --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: John Meredyth Lucas GUESTS: Lee Meriwether Arthur Batanides Naomi Pollack AIRED: January 24, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .250 Usenet rating: .395 QUOTES: ======= - "I have come for you." --Bimbo - "I'll sit on the engines..." --Scotty - "My name is 'NotImportant', yours is 'Watkins'." --Bimbo - "This thing is going to blow up, and there's nothing in this universe that can stop it!" --??? THAT WHICH SURVIVES PLOT: ===== Three Kalandan girls have the death-touch and threaten the landing party of three. Each girl is programmed to come after one of the landing party. They are controlled by a cube-shaped computer on the ceiling. FACTS: ====== - Phasers heated to 8000 degrees Celsius. OPINIONS: ========= Plot dragged out too long. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 138 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: Jill Ireland (Leila Kalomi) Frank Overton Grant Woods Dick Scotter AIRED: March 2, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .750 Usenet rating: .766 QUOTES: ======= - "You never told me if you had another name." --Blonde "You couldn't pronounce it." --Spock - "That cloud looks like a dragon on Baron Garrius Seven." --Spock - "Your father was a computer and your mother was an encyclopedia." --Kirk "My father is an mbassador and my mother is a teacher from Earth." --Spock - "Striking a fellow officer is a court-martial offense." --Spock "If we're both in the brig, who'll build the subsonic transmitter?" --Kirk - "Even with automatic pilot, I can not pilot it alone." --Kirk "What a stupid concept!" --HACK-MAN - "Poetry, Captain. Non-regulation." --Spock - "For the first time in my life - I was happy." --Spock THIS SIDE OF PARADISE PLOT: ===== Strange spores cause the entire crew of the Enterprise to mutiny and beam down to a planet where all work is done in unity and contentment, where sickness and hatred do not exist. Gee, what an original thought, eh Gene?. If Kirk beams down, they will all be stranded and be unable to beam back up, since the idiots who designed the ship made a requirement that someone be aboard to operate the transporters (the first person to board must have used a shuttlecraft, eh?). Spock finds a blonde he met on Earth six years ago (Leila) and falls in love with her. Kirk is shot by the spores and is ready to beam down, but because of his superior dedication to the ship (or some such bogus handwaving) he snaps out of it. He calls Spock to say he will be coming down, but needs a hand with carrying down some supplies. Kirk then insults and strikes Spock in order to get HIS emotions riled to shake the spell of the spores. FACTS: ====== - Spock's mother was a teacher on Earth. - Spock show emotions. OPINIONS: ========= A really enjoyable episode. One of the few that can make this claim without a lot of action or humor. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 140 THE THOLIAN WEB --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Judy Burns and Chet Richards GUESTS: None AIRED: November 15, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .445 Usenet rating: .632 QUOTES: ======= "Space itself is breaking up." --??? THE THOLIAN WEB PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is sent to investigate the disappearance of he USS Defiant, which has been missing for three weeks. The Defiant is found adrift in an unexplored quardant of space, trapped between universes, and her crew murdered each other because of the rip in space. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Chekov beam to the fading ship in space suits. The transporter is weak, so all but Kirk beam back, trapping Kirk in hyperspace. Meanwhile, the Tholians arrive (at velocity 0.15c) and ask the crew to leave their territory. Spock, in command, says they are rescuing their captain from a rip in space, and that they will leave in 132 minutes. The Tholian ship disturbed the space, however, causing Kirk not to fade back in at the appropriate time. The Tholians, known for their punctuality (even though they are a race unknown to the Federation), fire upon the Enterprise. Spock shoots back in self-defense (since they closed off communications). Another Tholian ship arrives and the two very slowly put up a web-like force field. Meanwhile, the crew of the Enterprise is becoming murderous (due to the strange physical properties of the area surrounding the rift), McCoy is flaming about Spock wanting command of the Enterprise. Spock declares Kirk dead. Kirk appears in Uhura's mirror, in engineering, then on the bridge. Spock zooms out 2.72 parsecs (with Kirk (almost out of oxygen) in the transporter beam apparently - I'll bet his stomach loved that). Spock and McCoy both LIE to Kirk and say that they didn't listen to his last orders. Spock says there are (not "there might be") several universes in parallel. FACTS: ====== - Won an Emmy for "Best Special Effects". - Nominated for "Special Classification of Outstanding Individual Achievement" Emmy in 68-69 (Special Photographic Effects) (Van Der Veer Photo Effects, Howard A. Anderson Company, The Westheimer Company, and Cinema Research). - The name of the Tholian commander who first attacks the Enterprise after Kirk is lost is Commander Loskene. - Spock has personality problems when in command (see also "Galileo Seven"). OPINIONS: ========= The plot dragged a bit (a la Twilight Zone), but was enjoyable. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 142 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: Roger Perry (Fighter Pilot?) Hal Lynch Ed Peck Richard Merrifield John Winston AIRED: January 26, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .745 Usenet rating: .658 QUOTES: ======= - "I made an error in my computations." --Spock "This may be an historic occasion." --McCoy - "Warp eight... off the scale." --Sulu - "Gravity [down to] .8." --Voice in background. TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY PLOT: ===== On their way to Starbase 9, the Enterprise is accidentally flung back (by a black star that pulled them in) to the year 1967 (isn't it odd how they always end up in the 1960s?), and through space to Earth (Spock does some hand-waving to explain that they were headed sort of Earth-ward at the time), where they must take desperate measures in an attempt to avoid changing history. The Enterprise used up all of its power; propelled away fast. A ground radar crew spots the Enterprise and sends up a US Air Force pilot, who sees the ship and reports it as a UFO. The plane starts breaking up when the Enterprise puts a tractor beam on it, so Kirk has the pilot beamed aboard. To get back to the present, the crew slingshot around the sun. They beam back the USAF Captain to his plane just as he was being beamed out - I might be convinced to buy that, but the guy with the green beret hat is beamed into his other body long before he was beamed away (he was still standing in the hallway) - how do they explain the fact that his mass just doubled? FACTS: ====== - The Earth has no clouds! - Kirk mentions that there are "12 like her in the Fleet" (referring to the Enterprise). - The Enterprise passes many stars on its journey between the Earth and the sun! - The USAF Captain's (unborn) son (Col Shawn Jeffrey Carpenter) heads the first Earth Saturn mission. - Only episode which shows the Enterprise from the bottom? OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 144 THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: David Gerrold GUESTS: William Schallert William Campbell (Klingon Commander Koloth) Stanley Adams Whit Bissell Michael Pataki Charlie Brill Ed Reimers Guy Raymond Paul Bradley David L. Ross AIRED: December 29, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .993 Usenet rating: .818 QUOTES: ======= - "Storage compartments? Storage compartments?" --Kirk - "Wheat? So what?" --Kirk - "Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood, but he's not soft." --Klingon first officer - "He called you a tin-plated, overbearing dictator with delusions of God- hood!" --Scotty "And *that's* when you hit him!" --Kirk "Ah, no, sir. We're big enough to take a FEW insults!" --Scotty - "Scotty, you're confined to quarters." --Kirk "Yes, sir. *Thank you*, sir! That'll give m e a chance to catch up on me technical journals!" --Scotty - "... where [they'll] be no tribble at all." --Scotty - "Extremely [little] joke, Ensign." --Spock - "On the contrary, sir...it is *you* I take lightly." --Kirk - "[Scotch] was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad." --Chekov THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES PLOT: ===== Kirk must put up with Federation bureaucrats and hoards of hungry tribbles, while protecting a shipment of quadrotriticale (wheat) against Klingon sabotage. The tribbles get in through the air vents and eat all the grain from the storage compartments. There was one Klingon agent who was (apparently) modified to pass as a human. FACTS: ====== - Tribbles multiply quickly. - Tribbles have no mouths. - Tribbles hate Klingons. - It will take 17.9 years to dispose of all the tribbles on the base (but it took practically no time to get all the fuzzballs off the ship). OPINIONS: ========= The best of the "campy" episodes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 146 TURNABOUT INTRUDER --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Arthur Singer GUESTS: Sandra Smith (Janet Lester) Harry Landers (Dr. Coleman) AIRED: March 28, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .430 Usenet rating: .460 QUOTES: ======= - "Nothing I've ever encountered." --Dr. Coleman (about radiation poison- ing) - "To my knowledge, such total transfer has never been completed success- fully in this galaxy." --Spock TURNABOUT INTRUDER PLOT: ===== Kirk's old flame (Janice Lester) envies his power and performs mindswap, then orders Kirk's mind (in her old body) court-martialed. She then orders Spock (and McCoy and Scotty) court-martialed for mutiny when they question the decision. General order four is the only way to execute anyone, and no one violated it. FACTS: ====== - This was Shatner's favorite episode because he got to play a woman. - Spock used mind meld on Janet/Kirk. OPINIONS: ========= Shatner makes a good fem, but the PMS scenes are a bit much to take. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 148 THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Dorothy Fontana GUESTS: William Marshall (Richard Daystrom) Barry Russo (Admiral Wesley) Sean Morgan (Harper) AIRED: March 8, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .250 Usenet rating: .579 QUOTES: ======= - "[Unfortunately] there is nothing currently to replace the ship's surgeon." --Spock. "[If they could, they] wouldn't have to. I'd resign." --McCoy - "There are certain things men must do to [remain] men." --Kirk - "Only a fool would stand in the way of progress." --Kirk - "You have my psychological profile. Am I afraid of [losing control]?" --Kirk - "Why don't you ask James T. Kirk. He's a pretty honest guy." --McCoy - "What are you doing here Bones?" --Kirk - "Computers make [efficient and practical] servants, but I do not wish to serve under them. --Spock - "This isn't chicken soup. I make a Finibal's Folly [that's known from here to ___]" --McCoy - "Do you know the one: 'All I ask is a tall ship...'" --Kirk - "[It's] not acting logically." --Spock "Do me a favor [Spock, and] don't say it's fascinating." --McCoy "No, but it is interesting." --Spock - "I've been updating that course for hours." --Sulu - "Pursuing a wild goose." --Spock - "You are great; I am great." --Daystrom to M5 - "Murder is contrary to the laws of man and God." --M5 - "Daystrom felt that such an act was an offense against the laws of God and man, and the computer that carried his engrams also believed it." --Kirk - "Compassion? That's the one thing no machine ever had. Maybe it's the one thing that keeps men ahead of them. Care to debate that, Spock?" --McCoy "No, doctor, I simply maintain that computers are more efficient than human beings, not better." --Spock - "It would be most interesting to impress your memory engrams on a computer, doctor. The resulting torrential flood of illogic would be most entertaining." --Spock THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER PLOT: ===== Star Fleet Command puts the Enterprise under total control of the m5 multitronic unit, a new computer that can do everything the entire crew can do, and much faster. (Seeing that this obvious improvement would obviate the need for any actors, Roddenberry decided to make believe that computers err more often than humans.) Kirk is called "Captain Dunsel" by Admiral Wesley (quite out of character for high officials). A dunsel is a useless piece of machinery. M5 can run the ship with a crew of 20. M5 refuses to relinquish control, and starts firing on any ship, manned or unmanned, friend or foe. M5's creator (Richard Daystrom, who has fallen from the spotlight of his bright, intelligent youth) also refuses to have m5 relinquish control. FACTS: ====== - Commodore Enright. - Commodore Bob Wesley. - Wargames. - Federation ships USS Excalibur, USS Lexington, USS Potempkin and an ore ship. - Spock holds an A7 [______] computer [rating], which is why he knows so much about ___. - One Enterprise crew dead. - Daystrom made the duotronic breakthrough when he was [25]. - Full phasers on an unshielded ship only shakes it a little? - Kirk talks M5 into killing itself. OPINIONS: ========= How stupid are all these high-ranking Federation officers? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 150 THE WAY TO EDEN --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Arthur Heinemann GUESTS: Skip Homier (Doc Sevrin) Charles Napier (Adam) Mary-Linda Rapelye (Irina) Majel Barrett (Nurse Chapel) Victor Brandt (Tongo Rad) Elizabeth Rogers (Lt. Palmer) Deborah Downey (Girl #1) Phillis Douglas (Girl #2) AIRED: February 21, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .775 Usenet rating: .432 QUOTES: ======= "Power beyond critical. Explosion is imminent." --Spock THE WAY TO EDEN PLOT: ===== A group of space hippies steal the Enterprise (not a hard task to accomplish, is it?) and search for the legendary planet Eden. Spock jams on a harp-like instrument with a chick playing backup on a bicycle wheel. The six hippies, led by Dr Sevrin (waffle ears), had stolen the Space Cruiser Aurora, and the Enterprise had to enter the Romulan Neutral Zone to save them. They call Kirk "Herbert", a person known for his rigid and limited patterns of thought, but Spock is one with them (since he was unlike the people he grew up with). Dr. Sevrin was a brilliant man from Tiberon, but now is a carrier of some disease. Chekov's old flame from SF Academy (Irini Galliulin) tries to persuade him to join them. They find Eden (with some help from Spock), but Adam and Doc Sevrin die as they find out that all the plant life is acidic. FACTS: ====== - Spock plays a harp-like instrument. OPINIONS: ========= One of the more dated episodes, but always good for a laugh. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 152 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Robert Bloch GUESTS: Michael Strong (Roger Corby) Sherry Jackson (Andrea) Ted Cassidy (Rock) Majel Barrett (Christine Chapel) Harry Basch (Brown) Vince Deadrick (Mathews) Bud Albright (Rayburn) AIRED: October 20, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .660 Usenet rating: .498 QUOTES: ======= - "Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick and tired of your half-breed interference." -- Kirk WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? PLOT: ===== Nurse Chapel's long-lost fiance, Roger Corby, turns up in control of a mechanism capable of producing android replicas of live beings. Kirk is copied on a horizontal wheel, and Dr. Corby wants to place his android Kirk in control of the Enterprise. Kirk puts all his thoughts into Vulcan bigotry as he is being copied, in hopes that the copy will think insulting Spock is a commonplace occurrence. Rock is a smarter android left behind by "the others", but doesn't know how long he's been around. Mention is made of Kirk's brother George Samuel Kirk ("Only YOU call him Sam"). FACTS: ====== - Rock is played by the actor who portrayed Lurch on "The Addams Family" television show, not to be confused with Lwaxana Troi's servant in "Star Trek: The Next Generation", who played Lurch in the "Addams Family" movie. - Kirk falls for Andrea, an android. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 154 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Samuel A. Peeples GUESTS: Gary Lockwood (Gary Mitchell) Sally Kellerman (Doctor Dayna) Lloyd Haynes (Alden) Andrea Dremm (Yeoman Smith) Paul Carr (Lt. Lee Kelso) Paul Fix (Doctor Piper) AIRED: September 22, 1966 HACK-MAN rating: .275 Usenet rating: .638 QUOTES: ======= - "Irritating? Oh, yes, one of your Earth-emotions." --Spock (smiling way too much) - "Gravitation on automatic." --Kirk - "Gravity is down to .8" --Extra in background - "Yeah, she's a nova--that one." --Gary Mitchell - "If I hadn't aimed that little blonde lab technician at you..." --Gary "I almost married her!" --Kirk - "I felt for him, too." --Spock "I believe there's some hope for you after all, Mr. Spock" --Kirk. - "Morals are for men--not gods." --Gary Mitchell WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE PLOT: ===== In passing through an energy barrier at the edge of the galaxy, some Enterprise members find their ESP powers greatly heightened, their eyes glow, and they get god-like powers. Kirk's good friend Gary Mitchell gets the powers and starts losing respect for Kirk, and eventually tries to kill him and bury him in the ground. He creates a garden of Eden for himself and his goddess. FACTS: ====== - Although this was the third episode aired, it was actually filmed before the others and was the 2nd pilot made for the show. The first, "The Cage" was later made into the two-part episode, "The Menagerie". - Kirk's middle initial is given as "R" (on the tombstone Gary Mitchell makes). - They leave the galaxy. - First episode *filmed*. - Most of the crew is wearing yellow sweaters. - It has Sulu, Scotty, and two doctors (a lady who dies and an old fart who gives *pills* to bring people back to consciousness) but no Uhura, McCoy, or Chekov. - Only episode with a microphone attached to the captain's chair which echoes all over the ship. - Spock is always shouting. - Kirk wins at 3-D chess. - No words at start ("Space...the final...") and no "whooooosh!" - The SS Valiant has been missing for two centuries. - Consoles are on *fire*. - Gary Mitchell reads through half the ship's library in under a day. - Dr. Dayna recites a poem from 1996. - They drop Gary on Delta [B|V]ega, a planet which is slightly smaller that the Earth. - Kirk carries a light phaser cannon that we never see again. OPINIONS: ========= I'm glad they got rid of that doctor. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 156 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Gilbert Ralston and Gene L. Coon GUESTS: Michael Forest (Apollo?) Leslie Parrish (Carolyn Palamas) John Winston AIRED: September 22, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .350 Usenet rating: .368 QUOTES: ======= - "On the other hand, she's a woman. One day she'll find the right man and off she'll go, out of the service." --McCoy - "Mr. Sulu, our forward tractor beams, adjust to repel." --Kirk - "Insults are effective only where emotions are present." --Spock - "[I am Apollo.]" --Apollo "And I am the Czar of all of Russia." --Chekov "Mr. Chekov..." --Kirk "Sorry, I haven't met a god before." --Chekov - "You seem wise, for a woman." --Apollo - "Scotty doesn't believe in gods." --McCoy - "The Captain requires complete information." --Chekov "Spock's contami- nating this boy, [Jim]." --McCoy - "He disappeared again, just like the cat in that Russian story." --Chekov "Russian? Don't you mean American? The Cheshire Cat." --Kirk "Cheshire? I don't think so. Minsk, perhaps." --Chekov - "Perhaps I can assist you [with the babe]" --Chekov "How old are you?" --Kirk "22, sir." --Chekov "Then *I* better handle it." --Kirk - "Man or woman, it makes no difference, we're both human." --Kirk to babe WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS PLOT: ===== The Enterprise is seized by a giant hand-shaped force field belonging to a being who claims to be Apollo. Apollo journeyed to Earth 5000 years ago from Pullox 4 and was worshiped along with the other "gods" by the populace. Now he requires the worship of the crew for survival. Enterprise historian Carolyn Palamas falls in love with Apollo, who enjoys her worshiping him. Kirk must rely on her loyalty to destroy the god and win their freedom. FACTS: ====== - When the "hand" grabs the Enterprise, the hull pressure is 1000 gse and climbing. - Pullox 4 is a class M world by starbase 12. - Apollo is 4 billion years old. - Apollo only called himself "Apollo" to the landing party; yet Spock (on the Enterprise) calls him "Apollo" (Spock shouldn't know who the being is.) - Uhura is connecting/fusing the bypass circuits under the console (first time in years she's had to do anything like that). - Spock calls her "Miss" Uhura. - Scotty falls for Carolyn. - Scotty dies. OPINIONS: ========= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 158 WHOM GODS DESTROY --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Lee Erwin GUESTS: Yvonne Craig (Marta) Steve Ihnat (Garth?) Key Luke Richard Geary Gary Downey AIRED: January 3, 1969 HACK-MAN rating: .720 Usenet rating: .547 QUOTES: ======= WHOM GODS DESTROY PLOT: ===== Captain Garth, the insane polymorph, takes over the penal planet where he was being treated. He is a shape-changing psychopath on an insane asylum planet which is protected by force field. He changes into an official of the institute and also James Kirk in an attempt to get aboard the Enterprise and escape from the planet. Kirk set up a code to be used before transporting up, based on 3-D chess. Spock must choose which is the imposter Kirk and stun him. FACTS: ====== - Password is "Queen to queen's level three". The correct response is "Queen to king's level one". - Kirk claims that there are an infinite number of responses to the chess move (which is, of course, an incorrect statement). - Marta, the loopy Orion girl, is played by the actress that played Batgirl in the Campy "Batman" TV series. - Andorian. OPINIONS: ========= Was there any reason why Spock couldn't have stunned *both* Kirks and decided which was the imposter later? Other than this point, the episode was quite enjoyable. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 160 WINK OF AN EYE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Lee Cronin GUESTS: Kathie Brown (Deela) Jason Evers Eric Holland Geoffrey Binney AIRED: November 29, 1968 HACK-MAN rating: .870 Usenet rating: .544 QUOTES: ======= WINK OF AN EYE PLOT: ===== A race of fast people steal the Enterprise. All the crew hear is an occasional buzzing sound when they talk. Kirk is sped up when his coffee is spiked by one of the aliens. Kirk leaves a message on a tape and leaves it where the crew will eventually find it. At the end, Spock speeds himself up and makes repairs to the ship. FACTS: ====== - This is the episode where we see Kirk pulling on his boots after (what we are supposed to assume is) a roll in the hay with the Deela bimbo. - Another in a long list of episode where they are handed a great techno- logical breakthrough which could be used to get them out of a jam in a later episode, but apparently are pretending never existed (and if it's too dangerous to use, because of the possibility of "damage", then how come they let Spock use it to make the repairs?) OPINIONS: ========= My bogometer went off the scale on this episode. (1) Spock wouldn't have had time to play the tape and walk all over the Enterprise in the few seconds of time that elapsed. (2) The fast folks can duck a phaser bolt? (3) the phaser bolt doesn't blow a hole in the wall of the ship? (4) They completely ignored the T-squared effect of apparent gravity. It was, nonetheless, an exceptional episode from a imaginative and new idea, despite the plethora of logic flaws. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 162 WOLF IN THE FOLD --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: Robert Bloch GUESTS: Joh[n?] Fiedler Charles Macauley Pilar Seurat Joseph Bernard, Charles Dierkop Judy McConnell Virginia Ladridge Judy Sherven Tania Lemani AIRED: December 22, 1967 HACK-MAN rating: .785 Usenet rating: .566 QUOTES: ======= - "With an armful of this stuff I wouldn 't be afraid of a supernova." --Sulu - "Pi is a transcendental figure without resolution." --Spock - "[you'll all die horribly! die, die,] everybody die, ah ha ha ha ha!" --Jack T. Ripper WOLF IN THE FOLD PLOT: ===== Scotty blacks out and appears to be the only logical suspect in a series of bizarre murders on the peaceful planet Argilias. It turns out to be an entity who has traveled to many worlds killing lots of people. It started out on Earth as Jack the Ripper, and spread out into the galaxy when the Earth-people did. He is now blamed for many mass murders, including Earth's 1974 USS ____, 2105 Martian Colony murders, ____ Rigel murders, etc. When they figure out who he is, Jack the Ripper non-physically enters the computer. McCoy gives "happy shots" to the entire crew (except Spock and Kirk, but for some reason Jack the Ripper doesn't enter their bodies) to keep Jack from possessing their bodies. Spock has the computer compute to the last digit of pi (which of course, it devotes all of its memory to). FACTS: ====== - The names that the entity was referred to by were Jack the Ripper, Baratis, Redjac, Kesla, Mr. Hengist. - Scotty's serial number is #SE197514. - No Uhura. - Scotty falls for Kara, the belly dancer. - The timid guy from the old "Bob Newhart" show plays Jack the Ripper. OPINIONS: ========= It has its moments. The first viewing will keep you guessing. There's enough action and plot development that requires deductive reasoning to make this a very good episode. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 164 EPISODE LIST BY AIR DATE --------------------------------------------------------------------------- FIRST SEASON September 8, 1966 THE MAN TRAP September 15, 1966 CHARLIE X September 22, 1966 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE September 29, 1966 THE NAKED TIME October 6, 1966 THE ENEMY WITHIN October 13, 1966 MUDD'S WOMEN October 20, 1966 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? October 27, 1966 MIRI November 3, 1966 DAGGER OF THE MIND November 10, 1966 THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER November 17, 1966 THE MENAGERIE (part I) November 24, 1966 THE MENAGERIE (part II) December 8, 1966 THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING December 15, 1966 BALANCE OF TERROR December 29, 1966 SHORE LEAVE January 5, 1967 GALILEO SEVEN January 12, 1967 THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS January 19, 1967 ARENA January 26, 1967 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY February 2, 1967 COURT-MARTIAL February 9, 1967 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS February 16, 1967 SPACE SEED February 23, 1967 A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON March 2, 1967 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE March 9, 1967 THE DEVIL IN THE DARK March 23, 1967 ERRAND OF MERCY March 30, 1967 THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR April 6, 1967 THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER April 13, 1967 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE! SECOND SEASON September 15, 1967 AMOK TIME September 22, 1967 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS September 29, 1967 THE CHANGELING October 6, 1967 MIRROR, MIRROR October 13, 1967 THE APPLE October 20, 1967 THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE October 27, 1967 CATSPAW November 3, 1967 I, MUDD November 10, 1967 METAMORPHOSIS November 17, 1967 JOURNEY TO BABEL December 8, 1967 THE DEADLY YEARS December 15, 1967 OBSESSION December 22, 1967 WOLF IN THE FOLD December 29, 1967 THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES January 5, 1968 THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION January 12, 1968 A PIECE OF THE ACTION January 19, 1968 THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME February 2, 1968 A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR February 9, 1968 RETURN TO TOMORROW February 16, 1968 PATTERNS OF FORCE February 23, 1968 BY ANY OTHER NAME March 1, 1968 THE OMEGA GLORY March 8, 1968 THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER March 15, 1968 BREAD AND CIRCUSES March 22, 1968 FRIDAY'S CHILD March 29, 1968 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH THIRD SEASON September 20, 1968 SPOCK'S BRAIN September 27, 1968 THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT October 4, 1968 THE PARADISE SYNDROME October 11, 1968 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD October 18, 1968 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY? October 25, 1968 SPECTRE OF THE GUN November 1, 1968 DAY OF THE DOVE November 8, 1968 FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY November 15, 1968 THE THOLIAN WEB November 22, 1968 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN November 29, 1968 WINK OF AN EYE December 6, 1968 THE EMPATH December 20, 1968 ELAAN OF TROYIUS January 3, 1969 WHOM GODS DESTROY January 10, 1969 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD January 17, 1969 THE MARK OF GIDEON January 24, 1969 THAT WHICH SURVIVES January 31, 1969 THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR February 14, 1969 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH February 21, 1969 THE WAY TO EDEN February 28, 1969 THE CLOUD MINDERS March 7, 1969 THE SAVAGE CURTAIN March 14, 1969 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS March 28, 1969 TURNABOUT INTRUDER (possibly June 3, 1969) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 166 EPISODE LIST BY HACKMAN RATING --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rating Episode Name ------ ------------------------------------------------------------------- .010 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD (O) .015 CHARLIE X (O) .090 MARK OF GIDEON, THE (O) .100 ALTERNATIVE FACTOR, THE (O) .110 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD (O) .205 ELAAN OF TROYIUS (O) .210 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY? (O) .250 DEVIL IN THE DARK (O) .250 EMPATH, THE (O) .250 SPOCK'S BRAIN (O) .250 RETURN TO TOMORROW (O) .250 THAT WHICH SURVIVES (O) .250 ULTIMATE COMPUTER, THE (O) .275 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE (O) .300 LIGHTS OF ZETAR, THE (O) .312 MIRI (O) .313 DOOMSDAY MACHINE, THE (O) .325 CAGE, THE (O) .325 COURT-MARTIAL (O) .350 CLOUD MINDERS, THE (O) .350 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS (O) .350 TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON, A (O) .360 MAN TRAP, THE (O) .420 GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION, THE (O) .425 OBSESSION (O) .430 TURNABOUT INTRUDER (O) .430 FRIDAY'S CHILD (O) .440 APPLE, THE (O) .440 BALANCE OF TERROR (O) .440 CATSPAW (O) .440 CORBOMITE MANEUVER, THE (O) .440 OMEGA GLORY, THE (O) .445 THOLIAN WEB, THE (O) .450 METAMORPHOSIS (O) .455 MUDD'S WOMEN (O) .475 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY (O) Rating Episode Name ------ ------------------------------------------------------------------- .500 GALILEO SEVEN (O) .510 CONSCIENCE OF THE KING, THE (O) .550 NAKED TIME, THE (O) .550 PRIVATE LITTLE WAR, A (O) .560 CHANGELING, THE (O) .570 MENAGERIE, THE PART 1 (O) .570 MENAGERIE, THE PART 2 (O) .640 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN (O) .650 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH (O) .650 DEADLY YEARS, THE (O) .650 ENEMY WITHIN, THE (O) .660 ARENA (O) .660 SQUIRE OF GOTHOS, THE (O) .660 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? (O) .660 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH (O) .665 ERRAND OF MERCY (O) .670 ENTERPRISE INCIDENT, THE (O) .670 JOURNEY TO BABEL (O) .720 WHOM GODS DESTROY (O) .725 SHORE LEAVE (O) .730 BREAD AND CIRCUSES (O) .740 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS (O) .750 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE (O) .770 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS (O) .775 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE! (O) .775 WAY TO EDEN, THE (O) .778 I, MUDD (O) .780 AMOK TIME (O) .780 DAGGER OF THE MIND (O) .785 WOLF IN THE FOLD (O) .830 BY ANY OTHER NAME (O) .835 SPECTRE OF THE GUN (O) .840 SAVAGE CURTAIN, THE (O) .845 PIECE OF THE ACTION, A (O) .850 MIRROR, MIRROR (O) .860 PATTERNS OF FORCE (O) .870 WINK OF AN EYE (O) .895 DAY OF THE DOVE (O) .992 CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER, THE (O) .993 TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES, THE (O) .996 PARADISE SYNDROME, THE (O) .998 SPACE SEED (O) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 168 EPISODE LIST BY USENET RATING --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ## is the number of Useet readers that sent in votes Rating is on a zero to one scale, one being best. Votes can be sent to ottoh3@cfsmo.honeywell.com in the form: vote .275 MIRI (O) Avg Rating ## Episode Name ------ -- ----------------------------------------------------------------- 0.169 35 AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD (O) 0.254 39 SPOCK'S BRAIN (O) 0.323 32 APPLE, THE (O) 0.351 25 LIGHTS OF ZETAR, THE (O) 0.351 27 OMEGA GLORY, THE (O) 0.360 23 MARK OF GIDEON, THE (O) 0.369 37 CHARLIE X (O) 0.375 31 WAY TO EDEN, THE (O) 0.380 26 ALTERNATIVE FACTOR, THE (O) 0.407 30 PLATO'S STEPCHILDREN (O) 0.410 32 GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION, THE (O) 0.413 34 CATSPAW (O) 0.422 31 LET THAT BE YOUR LAST BATTLEFIELD (O) 0.429 34 EMPATH, THE (O) 0.430 31 CLOUD MINDERS, THE (O) 0.438 30 TURNABOUT INTRUDER (O) 0.441 31 ELAAN OF TROYIUS (O) 0.444 23 WHOM GODS DESTROY (O) 0.453 36 MIRI (O) 0.467 29 WHAT ARE LITTLE GIRLS MADE OF? (O) 0.477 35 WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS (O) 0.479 28 BY ANY OTHER NAME (O) 0.481 32 SPECTRE OF THE GUN (O) 0.482 29 MAN TRAP, THE (O) 0.489 28 PRIVATE LITTLE WAR, A (O) 0.490 25 THAT WHICH SURVIVES (O) 0.495 26 SAVAGE CURTAIN, THE (O) 0.495 32 BREAD AND CIRCUSES (O) Avg Rating ## Episode Name ------ -- ----------------------------------------------------------------- 0.514 29 DAGGER OF THE MIND (O) 0.531 28 FRIDAY'S CHILD (O) 0.531 28 OPERATION--ANNIHILATE! (O) 0.534 26 METAMORPHOSIS (O) 0.535 30 WINK OF AN EYE (O) 0.536 26 IS THERE IN TRUTH NO BEAUTY? (O) 0.541 36 SQUIRE OF GOTHOS, THE (O) 0.542 37 MUDD'S WOMEN (O) 0.558 30 CONSCIENCE OF THE KING, THE (O) 0.558 34 FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY (O) 0.566 29 CHANGELING, THE (O) 0.573 29 RETURN OF THE ARCHONS (O) 0.578 29 ENEMY WITHIN, THE (O) 0.584 26 PATTERNS OF FORCE (O) 0.586 36 CORBOMITE MANEUVER, THE (O) 0.596 31 WOLF IN THE FOLD (O) 0.600 29 DEADLY YEARS, THE (O) 0.611 26 REQUIEM FOR METHUSELAH (O) 0.612 35 GALILEO SEVEN (O) 0.618 33 ARENA (O) 0.618 37 COURT-MARTIAL (O) 0.626 35 PARADISE SYNDROME, THE (O) 0.630 30 DAY OF THE DOVE (O) 0.639 26 RETURN TO TOMORROW (O) 0.642 27 OBSESSION (O) 0.647 33 I, MUDD (O) 0.653 29 TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON, A (O) 0.658 33 ULTIMATE COMPUTER, THE (O) 0.663 35 ASSIGNMENT: EARTH (O) 0.665 31 ALL OUR YESTERDAYS (O) 0.670 30 SHORE LEAVE (O) 0.673 32 CAGE, THE (O) 0.675 26 IMMUNITY SYNDROME, THE (O) 0.677 30 TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY (O) 0.683 35 WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE (O) 0.691 32 THOLIAN WEB, THE (O) 0.692 33 NAKED TIME, THE (O) 0.696 26 THIS SIDE OF PARADISE (O) 0.710 35 MENAGERIE, THE PART 2 (O) 0.712 38 DEVIL IN THE DARK (O) 0.731 35 MENAGERIE, THE PART 1 (O) 0.754 30 ERRAND OF MERCY (O) 0.757 34 JOURNEY TO BABEL (O) 0.759 40 DOOMSDAY MACHINE, THE (O) 0.770 33 ENTERPRISE INCIDENT, THE (O) 0.770 39 AMOK TIME (O) 0.774 38 SPACE SEED (O) 0.782 37 PIECE OF THE ACTION, A (O) 0.821 36 TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES, THE (O) 0.830 37 MIRROR, MIRROR (O) 0.840 37 BALANCE OF TERROR (O) 0.883 44 CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER, THE (O) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 170 MISC INFORMATION --------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE OPENING: ============ The first two seasons had Shatner's voice-over during the opening credits as: "Space... the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before." For the third season, it was changed to: "Space... a final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before." For "The Cage", they didn't have any voice-over, just the music. NAMES: ====== It is generally agreed that Kirk's full name is "James Tiberius Kirk". It was only given as "James T. Kirk" in TOS, the "Tiberius" didn't come around until TAS ("Bem") and the novels. In "Where No Man Has Gone Before", Gary Mitchell makes a gravestone for Kirk that says "James R. Kirk", apparently before Gene had settled on a middle name. Spock's other name (you couldn't pronounce it, as he told the blonde in "This Side of Paradise") isn't given in the television series or the film series. It is given in one or more of the books if you care to believe them. According to the Officer's Manual, it is Xtmprszntwlfd (pronounced with six syllables). McCoy's middle initial is given in "Friday's Child" and the film series as "H". Some novels have it as "H", others as "T". Geoffrey Mandel's Officer's Manual lists his middle name as Horatio. As a general rule, Vulcan males have five-letter names starting with "S" and ending with "K" (Spock, Sybok, Sarek, etc.) in honor of Surak, and Vulcan females have names starting with "T'" (T'Pau, T'Pring, etc.). The explanations for Saavik are range from "she's part Romulan, so the naming convention didn't hold" to "Her name is T'Saavik, but the "T'S" is too hard to pronounce" to "the Romulans deliberately gave her a male name, as an insult". Klingon names seem to lean toward starting with a "K". One novel asserts that this rule actually applies only to high-ranking officers, and one of the Klingon characters received a battlefield promotion. His companions implicitly knew that his name was now K____ rather than V____. Other names from Geoffrey Mandel's Officer Manual: Montgomery Edward Scott, Itaka Sulu (though George prefers Walter and Gene and some novels call him Hikaru) , Upenda Uhura (some sources say Nyota), Pavel Andreievich Chekov (also stated as such in "The Way to Eden"), and Christopher Robin Pike. SPEED: ====== The fastest the original Enterprise has gone (not counting "off the scale") was 14.1 in "That Which Survives". For TOS, speed is (warp ^ 3) * c, which yields: warp c ---- ---- 1 1 2 8 3 27 4 64 5 125 6 216 7 343 8 512 9 729 10 1000 11 1331 12 1728 13 2197 14.1 2803.221 STARDATES, YEARS, AGES, ETC.: ============================= In TOS the stardates ranged from 1513 (Man Trap) to 5928 (Turnabout Intruder). At this time Gene had intended for stardates to be based on Julian dates modulo 10000, with one stardate being 24 hours in length. There are numerous examples where this is false. Some of the most blatant are The Immunity Syndrome (where a quick calculation shows that one stardate is less than 2.5 hours) and Requiem for Methuselah (where one stardate figures out to be about 960 hours). There are a few episodes where the stardates actually decrease during the show. See also the numerous timelines that get posted to the rec.arts.startrek newsgroup on Usenet. 1992-1997 Eugenics Wars (according to Off Manual/TMP novel) 1993-1996 Eugenics War (according to TOS "Space Seed") 2018 Last use of sleeper ships (according to Space Seed) 2031-2039 Clone Wars (according to Off Manual (80)/TMP novel) 2035 US gets 52nd state (according to TNG "The Royale") 2047 Mind Control Revolt (according to Off Manual/TMP novel) 2049 First Kzinti Invasion of Earth (according to Off Manual) 2064 Kzinti Invasions Halt (according to Off Manual) 2079 All United Earth "nonsense" abolished (according to TNG "Encounter at Farpoint") The year in TOS is somewhere between 2260 and 2286. The Officer's Manual says TMP took place in 2265. The year on a bottle of Romulan Ale is given in TOS "The Wrath of Khan" as 2283(?) Khan was marooned for 15 years at the time of ST2. TNG is 93-100 years after TOS, and 78-79 years after TMP. TOS "Ballentine Concordance (1976)": Gives McCoy's age as 45. TOS "Who Mourns for Adonais": Chekov gives his age as 22. TOS "The Deadly Years": Kirk's age is given as 34. TNG "The Neutral Zone": Data gives the year as 2364. TNG "Encounter at Farpoint": McCoy's age is given as 137. TOS "Journey to Babel": Sarek's age is given as 102.437. TNG "Sarek": Sarek's age is given as 202. TNG "The Schizoid Man": Wes said "Data, chronologically, you're not much older than I am." TNG "DataLore": Data says he was found 26 years ago. TNG "Datalore": Data details exactly how many years he spent at the Academy, how many as an ensign, etc. Counting backwards from stardate 41xxx.x would give his grad date. TNG "Encounter at Farpoint": Data graduated SFA in the class of '78 with Honors in Dextral Biology and Probability Mechanics. TNG "Encounter at Farpoint": The Post-Atomic Age started in 2078. TNG "Encounter at Farpoint" (and the Officers Manual): the New United Nations was formed in 2036 (the Officers Manual says this happened during the Clone Wars). Kirk was born in the year 2228 in Riverside, Iowa, where a statue of him has been erected. The book "The Final Reflection" (non-canon, but who really cares) puts the lifespan of a Klingon at about 40 years (Terran). Worf would be about 15, by this reckoning. William Shatner was born on March 22, 1931 Leonard Nimoy was born on March 26, 1931. DeForest Kelley was born on Jan 20, 1920 SNAFUs: ====== "Space Seed": As Kirk is bashing in Khan's glass coffin, his phaser falls off his belt. McCoy keeps looking down at it, like he's wondering when they're going to yell 'cut' so they can re-shoot the scene. They never did re-shoot because they didn't want to invest in more glass. "Operation: Annihilate!": In a well-known ST blooper, the amoeba-creature accidentally hits Spock's rear end instead of his back. "Court-Martial": Kirk says "Gentlemen, this computer has an auditory sensor. It can, in effect, hear sounds. By installing a booster we can increase that capability on the order of one to the fourth power" (which the writers seemed to think sounded more impressive than "one") :-) (and we just have to assume that the voices and other ship noises were masked out like the heartbeats were) "The Squire of Gothos": Trelane sees Earth history 900 years late, but since he talks of Alexander Hamilton's death (1804) and of how he admires Napoleon (whose reign started in 1804). This would put the episode sometime just after 2704. This is more than four centuries too late. ST2:TWoK: When Khan comforts his fallen comrade (the guy with the blond hair) you can see that guy closed his eyes even though he is "dead". WHAT ARE WE: ============ Trekkie: A groupie fan. Someone who wears Spock ears and thinks that makes them important. Asks questions like "what did you have for breakfast on the Tuesday when you shot scene 46a of episode 5?" The most die-hard fan, who lives, eats, and breathes Star Trek. Term originated in the late 1960s. Trekker: A fan who is interested in the show and the idea of Star Trek, but doesn't let it interfere with his/her life. This is apparently being added to an upcoming edition of Webster's Dictionary. Term came into popularity in the 1970s when the press gave "Trekkie" a bad name. trekker: (with a small "t") A person who travels vast distances. Trekologist: A fan who enjoys collecting Star Trek technical literature and trying to logically and rationally explain continuity errors in the show. Treknician: A fan who enjoys collecting data (and debating with others) on the technical aspect of Star Trek (warp technology, transporter technology, etc.). CREW BACKGROUNDS: ================= James Tiberius Kirk is from Riverside, Iowa; he was married in "Paradise Syndrome", and is now a widower. He was also in love (if he knows the meaning of the word) with someone named "Ruth" ("Shore Leave"), and mentioned that he almost married that cute little blonde lab technician that Gary Mitchell steered Kirk's way ("Where No Man Has Gone Before") which some have guessed to be none other than Carol Marcus. See also the "Love Interests" monthly posting in rec.arts.startrek for further details. Leonard McCoy was in love with someone named "Nancy", whom the salt-sucker takes the form of in "The Man Trap". They were going to mention in one episode that he had been married with a daughter named Joanna, but it never made it on film. Chekov's ex-girlfriend (Irena [Irini?] Galliulin) is seen in "The Way to Eden". UNTELEVISED TOS EPISODES: ========================= The Cage He Has Walked Among Us (unfilmed) Paleface (other titles I can't remember) "Patterns of Force" was never shown in Germany. A black and white original of "The Cage" was pieced back together with the color clips stolen for "The Menagerie" which has since been televised. Just before the premier of TNG, Paramount "found" a copy of "The Cage" which was all in color (which they then televised). It is marred by drastic changes in the Talosians' voices in mid-sentence, otherwise it is fun to watch (along with a grinning, shouting Spock). The color version they show now has been cut down to an hour and has Spock's famous "grinning at the singing plants" scene removed. Sigh. Yes, "Assignment Earth" was indeed a pilot that never got off the ground. One of a few. Gene wanted to create some more shows. The reference for this is in the book The Making of Star Trek, (the white cover, not the silver one). The Great Bird was involved with pilots for three different new TV series in the early seventies: Three different pilots were apparently shot for one of the series, not unlike the series of pilots that had to be shot to get "Star Trek" into production. The first of these was "Genesis II," starring Alex Cord and Mariette Hartley. In it, Dylan Hunt, a NASA scientist doing research on suspended animation in an underground lab, gets accidentally buried for a half millennium or so, and emerges into a post-nuclear-holocaust world. The story concerns the interaction of two societies, one devoted to Good Works and the progression of all humankind, and the other to being Nazi-style lords and masters. "Planet Earth" was the second pilot. Set in the same future, with minor alterations in background and format, it starred John Saxon as Dylan Hunt, with folks like Diana Muldaur and Janet Margolin in major parts. It was just an extended TV episode with some good stuff in it; a mutant warrior race called the Kriegs (sp? never saw a script in print) look a *great* deal like retconned Klingons. The third movie, apparently a sort of a last-ditch attempt to produce a network-acceptable pilot, was called "Strange New World," and completely gutted the earlier forms of the series format. It starred John Saxon in the lead, but no one else I ever heard of, and was such a lox I can understand why G.R.'s name wasn't on it. It seemed to be three scripts pasted together, end-to-end. Roddenberry made two other pilots during this era: "Spectre" and "The Questor Tapes." "Spectre" was a lovely idea that could have made a great series, since its format allowed the inclusion of most major horror fiction, even including H.P. Lovecraft's "elder gods." It starred Robert Culp and Gig Young, and is a *FUN* movie, if you ever get a chance to see it. I believe it would have gone series, if made in the last few years, but at the end of the Nixon era, horror, even humorous horror, was unacceptable fare to the majority of TV watchers. ("Spectre" deals with an occult investigator and his M.D. sidekick, who keep getting involved with nasty superbeings from other times and dimensions; the hero's housekeeper is a witch, and puts a no-drinking geas on the alcoholic M.D. sidekick in the opening scenes.) "The Questor Tapes" starred Robert Foxworth and Mike Farrell, providing some of the best acting ever seen in a TV SF movie. (Foxworth does a scene as the robot learning how to use vocal inflection while carrying on a conversation with the first human it's ever spoken with.) The movie suffers a bit from the obviousness of the series format it sets up; noble alien with sidekick, on the run from various governmental authorities, while trying to learn human emotions and fulfill its mission to help the human race. A bit of a yawn in print, but it could have been a *good* series, with decent writing. Dorothy C. Fontana wrote a novelization of "The Questor Tapes" in paperback, and you might be able to find it in a used book store. I believe scripts for at least the best four are available from "Lincoln Enterprises," or folks like that. In the still shots during the credits of "The Immunity Syndrome" (and others) there is a picture of a rubbery-faced man with blank eyes. This is from "Return to Tomorrow", but wasn't aired with the episode. Sargon was building android bodies, which were actually actors covered in latex-like rubbery stuff. They filmed him as he was removing the latex (in the background, a props man is saying, "You wanted showbiz, you got showbiz..."). One still of this ended up in the credits. The whole shot ended up on the blooper reel for that season. As far as I know, it is the only still which doesn't come from an actual Star Trek scene. AWARDS: ======= TOS "The Tholian Web": won an Emmy for "best special effects". TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Drama Series" Emmy in 66-67 TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Drama" Emmy in 66-67 (Leonard Nimoy) TOS: nominated for "Mechanical Special Effects" Emmy in 66-67 (Jim Rugg) TOS: nominated for "Photographic Special Effects" Emmy in 66-67 (Darrell Anderson, Linwood G. Dunn, and Joseph Westheimer) TOS: nominated for "Individual Achievements in Film and Sound Editing" Emmy in 66-67 (Douglas H. Grindstaff, for Sound Editing) TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Drama Series" Emmy in 67-68 TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Drama" Emmy in 67-68 (Leonard Nimoy) TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Achievements in Film Editing" Emmy in 67-68 (Donald R. Rode, for "The Doomsday Machine") TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Continued Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series" Emmy in 68-69 (Leonard Nimoy) TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Art Direction and Scenic Design" Emmy in 68-69 (Walter M. Jeffries, Jr., Art Director, and John Dwyer, Set Decorator, for "All Our Yesterdays") TOS: nominated for "Special Classification of Outstanding Individual Achievement" Emmy in 68-69 (Special Photographic Effects) (Van Der Veer Photo Effects, Howard A. Anderson Company, The Westheimer Company, and Cinema Research, for "The Tholian Web") TOS: nominated for "Outstanding Achievement in Film Editing" Emmy in 68-69 (Donald R. Rode, for "Assignment: Earth" (weird, since it was a 67-68 episode)) MISC TRIVIA: ============ James Doohan is missing the middle finger of his right hand. It can be seen in brief shots (especially in the early episodes). Whenever they needed to show Scotty's hands (like when he operated the transporter) they had a stand-in and showed a close-up. ("Cut! All right, bring in the stunt hands.") Doohan tried to keep his right hand under tables and behind his back as much as possible. "The Man Trap": Spock says that Vulcan has no moon (when Uhura mentions romance). Some of the books say it has one or two moons/sister planets. Majel Leigh Hudec is Majel Barrett's real name. She took the name Barrett to fool NBC so they would hire her for Christine Chapel (they never knew that the blond Majel Barrett was the same person as the brunette whom they fired as Number One). Some volume of "The Best of Trek" stated that Number One and Christine Chapel were sisters. The Klingons and the Romulans had a trade agreement of sorts, for technology. The Klingons got cloaking devices (according to non-canon sources), the Romulans got Klingon warships (ref "The Enterprise Incident") and warp technology (from non-canon sources). Also, there is some speculation (again, non-canon) that the Bird of Prey as seen in "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock" and "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home", plus several times in Star Trek: The Next Generation, was originally a Romulan design. "The Paradise Syndrome": "He Has Walked Among Us" and "Paleface" were combined into "The Paradise Syndrome", according to speculation by Allen Asherman and David Gerrold. Reportedly, only Gene Coon knew for sure, and of course he's been dead for about 15 years... "City on the Edge of Forever": If you want H. Ellison's original script for "City on the Edge of Forever", look for a book called "Six Science Fiction Plays", edited by Roger Elwood. It's a paperback, published in 1976 by Pocket Books under the Washington Square Press imprint. It was distributed in the U.S. and Canada by Simon & Schuster. I have no idea if it's still in print. If it isn't, check your local library, used book stores, and the dealer's room at your next convention. There must be copies out there somewhere. According to Elwood's foreword, this was the first time Ellison's original uncut script was published. It's preceded by a ten-page introduction that Ellison wrote especially for this book, telling his version of the transformation of his script into what was eventually telecast. The book also contains these scripts: "Sting!" by Tom Reamy "Contact Point" by Theodore R Cogswell & George Rae Cogswell "Stranger with Roses" by John Jakes "The Mechanical Bride" by Fritz Leiber "Let Me Hear You Whisper" by Paul Zindel ("Sting!" is a movie screenplay; "The Mechanical Bride" is a teleplay; the others are stage plays) According to the Star Trek Compendium: Kirk: was in 79 TOS episodes Spock: was in 79 TOS episodes + "The Cage" McCoy: was in 74 TOS episodes Uhura: was in 65 TOS episodes Scotty: was in 61 TOS episodes Sulu: was in 47 TOS episodes Chekov: was in 33 TOS episodes DeForest Kelley mentioned at a con once that TOS cost $200,000 for an average episode, though records seem to show it as $100,000 to $120,000. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 176 STAR TREK MUSIC --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Both Shatner and Nimoy have attempted to sing and have a few albums out (from the early 70s, I believe). They are *extremely* bad and only good for comic relief. Nichelle Nichols originally sang the tune Uhura was singing in ST5, but The Powers That Be decided a few days before the film was released to dub in Hiroshima singing the song. The band T'Pau (named after the Vulcan priestess from TOS "Amok Time") claim they are not Star Trek fans; they just liked the name. DJs enjoy putting a few lines from "Amok Time" during the opening of their song "Heart and Soul" (McCoy: "Do you know who that is? That's T'Pau!" T'Pau: "Thees ees da Voolcan heart; thees ees da Voolcan soul...") The Minneapolis band (now based in New York) "Information Society" likes putting Star Trek quotes in their songs. "Pure Energy" had Spock's line "pure energy" (from "Errand of Mercy") in it (and later releases of the song have McCoy saying something like "we're not out of this yet"), "Think" has Kirk saying "Think about it" (from "Mirror, Mirror"), "Something in the Air" has a long scream (apparently taken from TOS), and there's another song (the name escapes me) that has a line from Spock, Scott, or both. Adam Nimoy (Leonard's son) is a fan and friend of the group. There were many parody songs about Star Trek in numerous Mad Magazine issues. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Theme from Star Trek" (The Original Series) Lyrics by Gene Roddenberry Beyond The rim of the star-light My love Is wand'ring in star-flight I know He'll find in star-clustered reaches Love Strange love a star woman teaches. I know His journey ends never His star trek Will go on forever. But tell him While he wanders his starry sea Remember, remember me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The Goodland" 1:05 from TOS "The Way to Eden" sung by Adam Lookin' for the goodland, Goin' astray. Don't cry, Don't cry. Oh I can't have honey And I can't have cream Goin' live not die, Goin' live not die. Standin' in the middle of it all one day. Look at it shining around me and say. I'm here, I'm here. In the goodland, in the new land, I'm here. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Heading Out to Eden" 1:35 from TOS "The Way to Eden" sung by Adam and blonde female friend Heading out to eden, Yeah brother. Heading out to eden, Yeah brother. No more trouble In my body or my mind. Goin' to live like a king On whatever I find. Eat all the fruit And throw away the rind. Yeah brother, yeah. Steppin' out to eden, Yeah brother. Steppin' out to eden, Yeah brother. No more trouble In my body or my mind. Goin' to live like a king On whatever I find. Eat all the fruit And throw away the rind. Yeah brother. note: The two verses are separated by dialogue. The first half is sung slow, about 1:05. The second is sung faster. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hey Out There!" 2:35 from TOS "The Way to Eden" sung by Adam and blonde female friend I'm talkin' 'bout you, I'm talkin' 'bout me. Long time back when the galaxy was new. Man found out what he had to do. Found he had to eat and he found he had to drink, And a long time later he found he had to think. Yes, think. [I'm standing here wondering -- What?] If a man tells another man, How to mow hay. He piles up trouble for himself all day. But all kinds of trouble will come to an end. When a man tells another man, Be my friend. My friend. [Well what's it going to be?] There's a mile wide emptiness, Between you and me. Let's reach across it, *On an even sea.* Someone ought'a take a step, One way or other. Let's say goodbye, Or let's say brother. Brother! Brother! Hey out there... Hey out there. Hey out there... Hey out there. I see you... I see you. I see you... I see you. Let's get together and have some fun. [I don't know how to do it, But it's gotta be done.] --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "?" from TOS "Charlie X"? sung by Uhura Now on the Starship Enterprise There comes a man in Satan's guise Whose devil ears and devil eyes Will rip your heart from you ... And that's why female astronauts Are overcome and overwrought [some uncertainty about 1st part of this line] Many a female astronaut... They know not what to [he'll?] do. Now from a planet out in space There comes a lad not commonplace Oh, seeking out his first embrace He's saving it for you ... Oh, Charlie is my darling, my darling, my darling Charlie's our new darling, he knows not what to do... [Again, some uncertainty about last part of the last line. Also, it may "Charlie's our new darling" instead of "is my darling" in the previous line.] --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The Friendly Angel Song" from TOS "And The Children Shall Lead" sung by The Children Hail, hail, Fire and snow. Call the angel We will go. Far away. For to see. Friendly Angel Come to me. Hail, hail, Fire and snow. Call the angel We must go. Far to come Far to see Friendly Angel Come to me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Beyond Antares" from TOS "Conscience of the King" sung by Uhura written (I think) by Gene Coon The skies are green and glowing Where my heart is, Where my heart is, Where the scented lunar flower is growing, Somewhere beyond the stars, Beyond Antares. I'll be back Though it takes forever. Forever is just a day. Forever is just another journey. Tomorrow I'll stop along the way, And let the years go fading Where my heart is, Where my heart is, Where my love eternally is waiting, Somewhere beyond the stars, Beyond Antares. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (untitled) from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren" sung by Alexander Great pan sounds his horn Marking time to the rhyme With his hoof, With his hoof. Forward forward in our plan, We proceed as we began.... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "A Serenade From the Laughing Spaceman" from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren" sung by Spock Take care young ladies and value your wine. Be watchful of young men in their velvet prime. Deeply they'll swallow from your finest kegs, Then swiftly be gone, leaving bitter dregs. Ah, bitter dregs. With smiling words and tender touch, Man offers little and asks for so much. He loves in the breathless excitement of night, Then leaves with your treasure in cold morning light. Ah, in cold morning light. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- (untitled) from TOS "Plato's Stepchildren" sung by Kirk (and Spock?) I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum. We're spacemen marching to and from. We slythe among the mimsy troves, And tire among the borog[r]oves. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen" from TOS "The Naked Time" sung by Kevin Reiley (calling himself "O'Reiley") I'll take you home again, Kathleen, Across the ocean wild and wide, To where your heart has ever been, Since first you were my bonnie bride. The roses all have left your cheek, I've watched them fade away and die; Your voice is sad whene'er you speak, And tears bedim your loving eyes. Oh! I will take you back, Kathleen, To where your heart will feel no pain, And when the fields are fresh and green, I'll take you to your home again. (One More Time!!!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Star Trekkin'" by "The Firm" (not the popular group, another one) Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe, On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk. Star Trekking, across the universe, Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse. Lt. Uhura, report! Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim. Analysis, Mr. Spock! Spock: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it. It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, again. Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe, On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk. Star Trekking, across the universe, Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse. Medical update, Doctor McCoy McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim. Dead, Jim. Dead, Jim. It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim. Dead, Jim, Dead. Spock: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it. It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim! Starship Captain, James T. Kirk Kirk: Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill. We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men. McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim. Dead, Jim. Dead, Jim. It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim. Dead, Jim, Dead. Spock: Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it. It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim. Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe, On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk! Star Trekking, across the universe, Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse! Engineer, Mister Scott Scotty: Ye canna change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics! Ye canna change the laws of physics, laws of physics, [yet|Jim] Kirk: Oh, we come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill! We come in peace, shoot to kill, Scotty, beam me up! McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim! Dead, Jim! Dead, Jim! It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim! Dead, Jim, Dead! Spock: Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it. It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, again! Scotty: Ye canna change the script, Jim! McCoy: It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim! Kirk: Bridge to engine room, warp factor nine! Scotty: Ach! If I give 'er any more she'll blow, Captain! Scotty: Ye canna change the status of the (auxiliary) ax'l engine eh?! <> Na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na..na Chorus: Star Trekking, across the universe, On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk! Star Trekking, across the universe, Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse! Star Trekking, across the universe, On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk! Star Trekking, across the universe, Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse! We come in peace, shoot to kill. [ there's also the EP version which has a few more verses --ed ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Banned from Argo" When we beamed into Argo 4 in search of R & R Our crew set out investigating every joint and bar We had high expectations of their hospitality But soon found Argo not prepared for spacers such as we CHORUS: And we're...banned from Argo, every one Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun We spent a jolly shore leave there of just 3 days or 4 But Argo doesn't want us anymore Our captain's needs were simple but his methods were complex He found 5 willing partners, each of a different world and sex The shore police were on the way, we had no second chance We beamed him up in the nick of time with the remnants of his pants CHORUS *** disappeared a while in the local ** Buying a *** guaranteed to cause *** She came home with no uniform, and an oddly cheerful heart And a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart CHORUS Our proper, prim first officer was drugged with something green And dragged into an alley where he suffered things obscene He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear Except he somehow taught the ship's computer how to swear CHORUS Our doctor loves humanity, his private life is quiet The shore police arrested him for inciting girls to riot (WHAT?) They found him in the city jail, *** debris Intact except for herpes, and 6 kinds of VD CHORUS (Gee, I wonder why?) Our engineer can yield to none in quaffing down the brew He outdrank 7 space marines and a demolition crew The navigator *** but he outdrank almost all And now they got a shuttlecraft on the roof of city hall CHORUS Our lady of communications won a ship like that By tying into the Argo-wide communications net Now, every time they call you on the Argo telescreen The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen (Yaah!) CHORUS Our helmsman loves exotic plants, the plants all love him too He took some down on leave with him, and we wondered what they'd do Well, the planetary governor now swears upon his life A gang of plants entwined his house, and then seduced his wife CHORUS A band of pirates landed and nobody seemed to care They stomped in the nearest bar and announced that they were there (We're here!) Half our crew was standing there and invited them to play The pirates took one look at us, and turned and ran away CHORUS We're truly Starfleet's finest, and our record is our pride And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide We're sorry 'bout the wreckage and the rumpus and the fuss You can be sure that planet will be long forgetting us CHORUS (I wonder why?) (Did we do something wrong?) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 186 BIBLIOGRAPHY --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The Making of Star Trek" by Stephen Whitfield (Ballantine/Del Ray 68) "Star Fleet Technical Manual" by Franz Joseph (Ballantine/Del Ray 75) "Star Trek Blueprints" by Franz Joseph (Ballantine/Del Ray 75) "Star Trek Concordance" by Bjo Trimble (Ballantine/Del Ray 76) "Star Trek Compendium" by Allan Asherman (Pocket Books 81, 87, 89) "The Klingon Dictionary" by Marc Okrand (Pocket Books 85) "Mr. Scott's Guide to the Enterprise" by Shane Johnson (Pocket Books 87) "The Worlds of the Federation" by Shane Johnson (Pocket Books 89) "The Writer's/Director's Guide" (new editions put out for each season) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 187 INDEX --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Age, Rapid The Deadly Years Alcohol By Any Other Name The Ultimate Computer Alice in Wonderland Shore Leave All-Powerful Being Arena The Squire of Gothos Spectre of the Gun Who Mourns for Adonais Alpha Centauri Metamorphosis Altair 6 Amok Time Alternate Earth Bread and Circuses Miri Omega Glory Paradise Syndrome Patterns of Force A Piece of the Action Alternate Universe The Alternative Factor Mirror, Mirror The Tholian Web Andorian Journey to Babel Whom Gods Destroy Androids I, Mudd Requiem for Methuselah Return to Tomorrow What Are Little Girls Made of? Andromeda By Any Other Name I, Mudd Aphrodisiac Elaan of Troyius Argilias Wolf in the Fold Ardona The Cloud Minders Aurora The Way to Eden Astrodidium Balance of Terror AtoZ All Our Yesterdays Batman Actors/Actresses Friday's Child Let That be Your Last Battlefield That Which Survives Whom Gods Destroy Bear, Teddy Journey to Babel Bearskin City on the Edge of Forever Beta Antares 4 A Piece of the Action Bluff The Corbomite Maneuver The Deadly Years Boxkite Spectre of the Gun Brats And the Children Shall Lead Charlie X Miri Buttheads The Cage The Empath The Menagerie Capella 4 Friday's Child Cats Assignment: Earth Catspaw Cestus 3 Arena Chess Charlie X Court-Martial Where No Man Has Gone Before Whom Gods Destroy Chicks By Any Other Name A Private Little War Wink of an Eye Cochran, Zephran Metamorphosis Code 1 Errand of Mercy Code 7 A Taste of Armageddon Cold All Our Yesterdays The Enemy Within A Private Little War Corbomite The Corbomite Maneuver The Deadly Years Corby, Roger What Are Little Girls Made of? Cordrazine The City on the Edge of Forever Death of Major Character Amok Time Catspaw The Changeling The Enterprise Incident Shore Leave Spectre of the Gun Who Mourns for Adonais Decker, Matt The Doomsday Machine Defy Starfleet Command Amok Time The Cloud Minders Conscience of the King Galileo Seven Lights of Zetar The Mark of Gideon A Taste of Armageddon Denoba Operation--Annihilate! Diplomats The Deadly Years Errand of Mercy Galileo Seven Journey to Babel Metamorphosis Doctor, Not a ___ The Corbomite Maneuver The City on the Edge of Forever The Deadly Years The Devil in the Dark The Doomsday Machine Friday's Child Mirror, Mirror Dolman, Princess Elaan of Troyius Doorknob Conscience of the King The Menagerie Dork All Our Yesterdays Balance of Terror Corbomite Maneuver The Deadly Years The Devil in the Dark The Doomsday Machine Galileo Seven Metamorphosis Mudd's Women The Naked Time The Omega Glory Spectre of the Gun A Taste of Armageddon Drill Thralls The Gamesters of Triskelion Ears Bread and Circuses The Devil in the Dark The Enterprise Incident I, Mudd Obsession Piece of the Action The Way to Eden Eel-bird Amok Time Electric Cloud Metamorphosis Engine Cold Start The Naked Time Ferrill Mudd's Women Ferrus Galileo 7 Fizbin A Piece of the Action Flint Requiem for Methuselah Flowers The Apple The Cage This Side of Paradise Fried Eggs Operation--Annihilate! Friendly Angel And the Children Shall Lead Galt The Gamesters of Triskelion Gamma Hydra 4 The Deadly Years Gangsters A Piece of the Action Garavik Obsession Garth Whom Gods Destroy Gem The Empath General Order 4 Turnabout Intruder General Order 7 The Menagerie (part 1) General Order 24 A Taste of Armageddon Gill, John Patterns of Force Good vs Evil Arena Day of the Dove The Enemy Within The Savage Curtain Spectre of the Gun Gorns Arena Gothos The Squire of Gothos Gravity Down to .8 Arena Tomorrow is Yesterday Where No Man Has Gone Before Greek/Roman Bread and Circuses Plato's Stepchildren Who Mourns for Adonais Green, Mr. The Savage Curtain Grupps Miri Guns Patterns of Force A Piece of the Action A Private Little War Spectre of the Gun The Squire of Gothos Hansen's Planet Galileo Seven Hard Substance Arena Balance of Terror The Doomsday Machine Obsession Herbert The Way to Eden Hippies The Way to Eden Hodgkin's Law Bread and Circuses IDIC Is There in Truth No Beauty? Iotians A Piece of the Action Jack the Ripper Wolf in the Fold Kahless The Savage Curtain Kalandan That Which Survives Kang Day of the Dove Kanut Kalifee Amok Time Khan Space Seed Khan, Ghengis The Savage Curtain Kirk Blows Up Computer The Changeling I, Mudd Requiem for Methuselah Return of the Archons A Taste of Armageddon ? That Which Survives The Ultimate Computer What Are Little Girls Made of? Kirk, Peter Operation--Annihilate! Kirk, Sam Operation--Annihilate! What Are Little Girls Made of? Klingons Amok Time Day of the Dove Elaan of Troyius The Enterprise Incident Errand of Mercy Friday's Child A Private Little War The Savage Curtain The Trouble With Tribbles Knives/Swords And the Children Shall Lead Day of the Dove The Naked Time Plato's Stepchildren Space Seed The Squire of Gothos Wolf in the Fold Kodos Conscience of the King Kolus Is There in Truth No Beauty? Kuul Errand of Mercy Landru Return of the Archons Lazarus The Alternative Factor Leave Galaxy By Any Other Name The Doomsday Machine The Immunity Syndrome Is There in Truth No Beauty? Where No Man Has Gone Before Lincoln, Abraham The Cage The Savage Curtain Lincoln, Miss The City on the Edge of Forever Love, Chekov The Apple Day of the Dove Spectre of the Gun The Way to Eden Love, Kirk Bread and Circuses By Any Other Name The City on the Edge of Forever The Cloud Minders Conscience of the King Court Martial Dagger of the Mind The Deadly Years Elaan of Troyius The Enemy Within The Gamesters of Triskelion The Naked Time The Mark of Gideon Miri Mirror, Mirror Mudd's Women The Paradise Syndrome A Private Little War Requiem for Methuselah Shore Leave Turnabout Intruder What Are Little Girls Made Of? Where No Man Has Gone Before Wink of an Eye Love, McCoy For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky The Man Trap Shore Leave Love, Scotty The Lights of Zetar Who Mourns for Adonais Wolf in the Fold Love, Spock All Our Yesterdays Amok Time The Cloud Minders The Enterprise Incident This Side of Paradise M4 Robot Requiem for Methuselah M5 Computer The Ultimate Computer Magnetic Field The Alternative Factor Marcus 3 Galileo Seven Marta Whom Gods Destroy Melkotians Spectre of the Gun Memory Loss, Kirk Paradise Syndrome Requiem for Methuselah Memory Loss, Uhura The Changeling Metrons Arena Mira The Lights of Zetar Miranda Is There in Truth No Beauty? Money, Federation The Apple Balance of Terror Catspaw The Doomsday Machine Errand of Mercy Mirror, Mirror Operation--Annihilate! Morisaki Galileo Seven Mudd, Harcourt Fenton I, Mudd Mudd's Women Music, Spock Plato's Stepchildren The Way to Eden Mute The Empath Mutiny The Empath This Side of Paradise Turnabout Intruder Napoleon Patterns of Force The Squire of Gothos Nazis Patterns of Force Neanderthal Galileo Seven Neural Stuff Amok Time Dagger of the Mind Spock's Brain Whom Gods Destroy Neutronium The Doomsday Machine Nova All Our Yesterdays The Empath [super?] I, Mudd O'Reiley, Kevin Thomas The Naked Time Organians Errand of Mercy The Trouble with Tribbles Orion City on the Edge of Forever Journey to Babel [?] Whom Gods Destroy Petri Elaan of Troyius Phaser One vs Phaser Two The Devil in the Dark Obsession Phaser Rifle The Cage Pizza Bats Operation--Annihilate! Pon Far Amok Time Prejudice Balance of Terror Pullox 4 Who Mourns for Adonais Quasar Galileo Seven Quatloos The Gamesters of Triskelion Rana Requiem for Methuselah Regulus 5 Amok Time Religion Bread and Circuses The Empath Errand of Mercy Obsession The Paradise Syndrome Return of the Archons The Trouble with Tribbles The Ultimate Computer Where No Man Has Gone Before Who Mourns for Adonais Rigel The Cage The Doomsday Machine Journey to Babel Mudd's Women Requiem for Methuselah Wolf in the Fold (?) Rock-being City on the Edge of Forever The Devil in the Dark The Savage Curtain Roddenberry, Dawn Miri Romulans Balance of Terror The Deadly Years The Enterprise Incident The Savage Curtain The Way to Eden Roykirk, Jackson The Changeling Sarek Journey to Babel Sargon Return to Tomorrow Saucer Separation The Apple The Savage Curtain Self-Destruct, Enterprise By Any Other Name Let That Be Your Last Battlefield Senite The Cloud Minders Scotty Drunk By Any Other Name Wolf In the Fold Scotty Fired The Apple Serial Numbers Court-Martial Wolf in the Fold Seven, Gary Assignment: Earth Sevrin, Dr. The Way to Eden Sharon Let That be Your Last Battlefield Shuttlecraft The Doomsday Machine Galileo Seven The Immunity Syndrome The Menagerie Metamorphosis Sigmus Dricomus 7 Spock's Brain Singing The Changeling Charlie X The Naked Time Plato's Stepchildren The Way to Eden Slaves Bread and Circuses The Gamesters of Triskelion The Savage Curtain Speed Arena By Any Other Name The Changeling Wink of an Eye Spock Cries The Naked Time Plato's Stepchildren Spock Insane Is There in Truth No Beauty? Operation--Annihilate! Plato's Stepchildren Spock Laughs Plato's Stepchildren Spock Sings Plato's Stepchildren The Way to Eden SS Antares Charlie X SS Botany Bay Space Seed SS Diadra Friday's Child SS Valiant A Taste of Armageddon Where No Man Has Gone Before Starbase 6 The Immunity Syndrome Starbase 9 Tomorrow is Yesterday Starbase 10 The Deadly Years Starbase 12 Space Seed Who Mourns for Adonais Sub-skin disks For the World is Hollow and I have Touched the Sky Patterns of Force Supernova All Our Yesterdays Wolf in the Fold Surak The Savage Curtain T'Pau Amok Time T'Pring Amok Time Tantalis Field Mirror, Mirror Tarrus 2 Galileo Seven Tall Beings Friday's Child Galileo Seven Talos IV The Cage The Menagerie Telepathy Is There in Truth No Beauty? Spectre of the Gun Tiberon The Way to Eden Time Travel All Our Yesterdays The Alternative Factor Assignment: Earth City on the Edge of Forever The Naked Time Tomorrow is Yesterday Tranja The Corbomite Maneuver Transporter Malfunction The Doomsday Machine The Enemy Within Mirror, Mirror The Tholian Web Transtator A Piece of the Action Trapoline Friday's Child TriOx Amok Time Trogs The Cloud Minders Two-tone Let that be Your Last Battlefield Unicorn Dog The Enemy Within USS ______ Wolf in the Fold USS Carolina Friday's Child USS Columbia The Cage The Menagerie (part 2) USS Constellation The Doomsday Machine USS Defiant The Tholian Web USS Ferrigut Obsession USS Horizon A Piece of The Action USS Intrepid The Immunity Syndrome USS Republic Court-Martial USS Valient A Taste of Armageddon USS Yorktown Obsession Vaal The Apple Van Gelder Dagger of the Mind Vandenburg The Devil in the Dark Vega The Cage Mirror, Mirror Venus Drug Mudd's Women Vians The Empath Vulcan Death Grip The Enterprise Incident Vulcan Mating Rituals Amok Time Vulcan Mind Meld/Probe By Any Other Name The Changeling Dagger of the Mind The Devil in the Dark Is There In Truth No Beauty? Mirror, Mirror The Omega Glory Patterns of Force Requiem for Methuselah Spectre of the Gun Turnabout Intruder Vulcan Nerve Pinch Assignment: Earth City on the Edge of Forever The Enemy Within Warp Drive Inventor Metamorphosis Weapons Heated Errand of Mercy That Which Survives Wild Goose The Gamesters of Triskelion The Ultimate Computer Witch All Our Yesterdays Catspaw